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Barrister
Barrister, Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 35845
Experience:  Attorney with 16 years experience
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Live in Massachusetts. Was married and had a planned baby,

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Live in Massachusetts. Was married and had a planned baby, when the child was born she ended up being diagnoised with Golden Har Syndrome, because of this and post partum depression/ a bipolar diagnosis my wife left and I was left alone with the baby, she would see her daughter only when i would make the drive to Rhode Island where she got an apartment. We have been separated since 2010 and i have been in a relationship since my daughter was 23months old, My girlfriend has helped 100% raise my daughter with me and up until halfway through 2013 I made the three hour trip twice a week, thursday-sundays ( many times would have her longer) to pick my daughter up and then bring her back. I have always been compassionate towards my ex and do not like confrontation or arguments, even though driving both ways was neither fair or convient, i did it because id never let anything get in the way of seeing my daughter. In the past four years my daughters mother has moved 5 times and has had multiple boyfriends in and out of my daughters life and ive never tried to interfere in her life. The only reason we are not legally divorced is her father owns a law firm and she has decided she isnt paying a dollar towards the divorce and her father continually holds things up with my lawyer making it cost more than i can manage. What i need legal advice on, is in November of this year we have a DisneyLand vacation planned. Plane tickets are bought and hotel is booked. The plan is me, my girlfriend, her mother who is like a grandmother to my daughter, her aunt and uncle are all planning to go. When i told my ex about the trip she immediately said no. Its been over two weeks and every time i try to talk to her she either hangs up or just continually says no. We have taken my daughter on numerous vacations out of state before and have done overnights at hotels, just never on a plane. Her reason is she wants to take her to Disney first and thats that. Legally, not being divorced and sharing parenting 50/50 can she stop the trip from happening? This is causing so much heartache for not only myself, but to my girlfriend and her family who are a huge and wonderful part of my daughters life. My ex has decided she is going to take her in February to Disneyland with her father, and said its fine for me to take her after that, but cannot take her in November. Our trip cant be rescheduled. Legally, can she keep us from going?>
Hello and welcome! My name is XXXXX XXXXX I will try my level best to help with your situation or get you to someone who can.
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Legally, not being divorced and sharing parenting 50/50 can she stop the trip from happening?
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No, since there is no legal divorce and no custody agreement formally in place from the court, then you are both legally considered to have exactly equal custodial rights to physical custody of the child. So essentially whoever has the child has a legal right to do so.
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Further, since there is no custody order from the court that prohibits any out of state trips, she would not be able to prevent you from taking the child on a vacation to Disneyworld if you chose to.
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Thanks
Barrister
Barrister and 2 other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Since she is very against us taking her, what would happen if she calls the cops? The fact that she is so convinced the final say falls soley on her, and her refusing her child a trip to disney for selfish reasons can only lead me to believe she could do something irrational.

Since she is very against us taking her, what would happen if she calls the cops?
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Nothing. There is no legal order in place that would prevent you taking the child out of state. Since you are a legal guardian and leaving the state is not for the purposes of keeping the child from her permanently, she can't claim parental kidnapping.
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So if she were to call the police, they would tell her that it is a civil matter and she would have to take it up in a divorce court with a custody order.
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Thanks
Barrister