Thank you for the opportunity to assist you. I'm honored you've asked for my help again.
It sounds like this mother may not be acting in the best interest of her child. If she's so destitute that she has to "bum" money off other people to buy cigarettes, diapers, minutes for her phone, etc., I wonder how able (or willing) she is to provide for Jayden. After all, if the mother is living with another family, it sounds like she cannot even afford a place of her own. Does she work at all? Do you think she have a drug habit? Is that where all her money goes?
As far as the mother getting assistance from VA, that's certainly possible. There are a lot of programs: SNAP benefits ("food stamps"), TANIF (needy family assistance), etc. There are programs that help with heating and electrical bills, too.
If you believe that your grandson may be neglected, in danger, or otherwise in need of services from the state, one option you have is to report your concerns to the Departmet of Social Services
. You can find the particular office to call here
. There is generally one department per county, although some local departments cover a region in more rural areas. If you don't know which particular county or department to call, give me an address (at the very least a city or town name) and I can probably figure out which county you need get in touch with.
You can make an anonymous report if you wish. Tell them your concerns about your grandson's living conditions, that his mother is constantly requesting money from others, etc. Report anything you have observed with your own eyes that concerns you.
A social worker may open an investigation. The mother may be offered counseling, services and resources through the state, etc. It's possible that the state could take custody of Jayden temporarily if the mother is unable to provide for his basic needs.
If custody is taken away from the mother, Jayden's legal father (who I assume is your son?) would be next in line to have custody. If not him, then Jayden could be placed with another relative or even with a foster parent temporarily.
While this may seem to be an extreme step to take, Jayden's safety and well being should be the primary concern. If the mother is not able or is unwilling to take care of properly, the state has to step in and either help her to get on the right track and take care of Jayden, or they'll have to take custody of Jayden away from her, at least temporarily.
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