My name is XXXXX XXXXX I'd be happy to answer your questions today. I'm sorry to hear about your situation.
For him to get a restraining order
in this situation, he would have to file a lawsuit against you and prove a number of things, including that he never date raped anyone. If it did, in fact, happen, there isn't any law that would prevent you from discussing it with those that it happened to. He would also have to show that getting the order is in the interests of justice, and that he would be more harmed if the order were not entered than you would be if it were. Finally, he must show that the order is in the public interests. It IS in the public interests to stop a person from spreading lies that could damage a person's reputation - that's why we have defamation statutes. However, it's not in the interests of justice to gag a rape victim and try to stop her from telling her story. If it happened, he would not be able to get the order.
Truth would be a defense. You can testify that you never said the things that he is claiming. But you could also bring in the woman and have her testify that he did, in fact date rape her. If he actually did file a lawsuit, that would be one way of defending it. It sounds like he's just trying to scare you, but you do have the option of sending him a letter stating that you agree not to speak to others about this issue in exchange for - whatever you want. Him not suing you, or even him never contacting you again, directly or indirectly. That can be done without admitting that any statements were made, and a letter sent in offer of settlement cannot be used as evidence. It's also possible that he's just trying to scare you and that the whole thing will blow over while he's out of town - but you're in a better position to evaluate whether he's likely to let it go, since you know him.
The type of order that he's talking about is a civil order. He wouldn't be able to get a criminal restraining order unless you were threatening physical harm to him or member of his family. But based on what you've said, you have not done anything wrong. He has - if he threatened physical harm to your friend, that's illegal. Threatening to harm someone is harassment, which is a violation of Hawaii Rev. Stat., Section §711-1106.
It's a petty misdemeanor.
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