Summary: Do I need to file for divorce to protect assets? Do I want to file first? (All questions at the end)
History: (Louisiana) Married 16 years, two children 13 and 10. 2005 Wife has 1st affair eight years ago with another women. They breakup she self admits for suicidal thoughts diagnosed bipolar, gets out, we reconcile 6 months later.
2008 Three years later I catch her on the phone with an ex-boyfriend, she stops that behavior.
2011 Three years later she has a one night stand and emotional affair with a man which I have all the evidence. She was unemployed at the time, we got her help again did some marriage counseling (that was two years ago).
2013 Now she is in her fourth encounter texting/sexting/covert meeting (don't know what all is going on, she has admitted she can't stop and that I wouldn't like what the messages where about). She left marital home and is living with mother. She is working part time now. She has no interest in reconciling, I told her we could reconcile if she stopped contact with other person, went back to counselor, then we would go through $4000 invasive couples therapy that we should have done last time. She decided against all of that so I am cool.
We share the kids every other week, split all money except my 401k. I have taken all the credit card debt ($6k), given her car that I paid off (worth $8k), pledged to pay ALL kids expenses of any kind, plus when she moves out of her mom’s house I have offered to give her any furniture she wishes, plus pay first month rent, deposit, utility deposits no strings attached - we agreed kids stay in same schools. I would also continue to pay her health insurance through my work. She would have to pay her insurance on her car, cell phone bill, and her own expenses.
I told her I won't pay alimony, and she has to take care of her student loan debt ($20K).
Her parents supported me in the first divorce and support me in this divorce. HER Mother doesn’t think she is a fit mother. I don’t think she is a great mother, but I wouldn’t say she is unfit.
She gets half my 401k ($40k) at divorce anyways, we have about $8k equity in our house, but would have to spend $10k in foundation repair to sell it. So I have asked her not to force me to sell it to split equity. I was thinking I could give her more 401k??
Do I need to file for divorce to protect assets? My friends and family worry she could ruin my credit.
Do I want to file first? We agree on 50/50 custody and most of the asset stuff, I just don’t want to pay child support or alimony.
If she agrees to what I offer above, will I have to pay child support? (I make a lot more money than her)
Can she waive child support?
I really want to get this over. Filing for adultery divorce seems quicker, may piss her off, but will ensure I don’t pay alimony, am I missing anything? If I do the no fault, we have to be separated a year.
I know you are a professional and these are lot of questions so I hope I am giving adequate fee, I know I need to get an attorney I am just trying to get my head wrapped around this before I go out and get one. Much Thanks!
Just noticed it didn't give me option of fee this time, I will put in tip. Thanks.