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You're absolutely right. Until your mother can no longer make her own decisions AND your sister is appointed guardian, your sister doesn't have any right to prevent you from seeing your mother.
I'm glad APS got involved, as that's really the best thing you can do at this point. It would be a good idea to ask your mom to right down her wishes in terms of visitors, phone contact, etc and for you all to sit down and talk about this before your mom moves in with your sister. Otherwise, down the road, if the worst should happen and your mother becomes incapacitated, you would need to ensure that your sister either didn't get guardianship of her, or was very closely watched.
In terms of the adult day care, you can make a formal complaint against them here http://www.ccld.ca.gov/PG408.htm if you want to make sure that it gets addressed. Right now that's probably the most effective thing you could do, as filing a law suit against them would likely not result in any measurable outcome other than you spending your own money.
APS contacted me today and said they called the day care and they said they stepped in because they overheard me asking my mother if she wants to move in with me and that's against the rules (?) First of all I did not ask my mother that! I don't have room in my home to ask her to move in. My sister who was talking to my mother on speaker phone lives in Chicago and there's no way she would ask my mother.
Anyway, the day care has lied about how they approached us, they lied about what they told us, they lied about their accusations toward me, they lied about how they spoke with my mother. My sister is my only witness.
We are both devestated that people can get away with lying. If I did hire a lawyer to file a civil suit accusing them of distorting information and making accusations and upsetting my mother and I haven't been able to stop crying because of all the things they said to me! They said my sister in charge warned them about me and other offensive stuff and all I wanted to do is visit my mother in peace. Our visits won't be the same - I feel sick about this whole thing!
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