My name is XXXXX XXXXX I'd be happy to answer your questions today. I'm sorry to hear about your situation.
First, if your wife makes more than you, it is unlikely that she would be able to get spousal support
from you. Spousal support is based on need. If she makes more than you, you have the ability to argue that her income is sufficient to meet her needs. The judge can consider your overtime, if it is promised or guaranteed. But, if she makes enough to support herself, she's not entitled to it.
In New Jersey, child support
is based on the number of children and the combined incomes of the spouses. This calculator can help you determine what the judge might order you to pay, assuming that she gets full custody, which can also help you determine whether the amount she is requesting is reasonable. That may help you during mediation.http://quickguide.njchildsupport.org/
As far as the assets go, New Jersey is an equitable distribution
state. That means that she may be entitled to 1/2 of your pension earned during the marriage, but you're also entitled to half of any money that she has in a 401(k), pension or other retirement account. You're also entitled to approximately half of any money in other bank accounts.
You're allowed to negotiate with her to reach a fair divorce settlement. You're not required to just let her have whatever she wants. If you want partial custody or visitation with the children, you have a right to request it. At mediation, you may be able to show the mediator evidence to support what you are asking for. So, be prepared to show her income vs. yours. You may also want to gather all financial documents you have to help show what assets she has that should also be divided.
If you have any questions or concerns about what I've written, please reply so that I may address them. It's important to me that you are 100% satisfied with the service I provide. Otherwise, please rate my service positively so that I get credit for answering your question. Thank you.