If this FC was the law, then why would anyone pay child support when retroactive CS is not collectible. Am I missing something?
A: Modification of an existing order cannot be made retroactive to the date of filing of the request to modify. Collection of unpaid arrears on a preexisting order is not retroactive support, because the order is already in place. So, if a parent doesn't pay on an existing order, the unpaid amounts are fully collectible.
The point of the law is so that a parent cannot wait several years and then suddenly come back and ask the court to give them a huge retroactive modification order for support that they could have received had they filed for a modification several years prior. If a parent wants a modification of support, then he/she must request it as soon as it becomes apparent that there has been a change in circumstances affecting the child's best interests.
We had verbal and text/email messages agreeing that he would take my daughter so that the number of days we had her were equal. There isn't anything less harsh then going to court that may convince him to take her. I have 16 clients from russia here for two weeks Aug 12-25. She has to share my room and is added pressure I don't need now...
You could file a motion for contempt, to force your ex to take the child. But, as a practical matter it could take several months to get a hearing date, and proving contempt of a custody order is extremely difficult -- so, it's really not a viable option.
Your best bet is to tell the other parent that if he refuses to exercise custody, you will file for a custody and support modification, and thereby increase his support obligation going forward. If he doesn't cave in, then you must file before the 16th, because even if the hearing is several months from now, you can get retroactive support from the date you file, and forward from their -- but not before.
Please don't shoot the messenger. This is simply how the law is written (and by the way -- it's federal law: 42 U.S.C. 666(a)(9)).
Hope this helps.