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Our son got married about 5 weeks ago and thinks it was a mistake to do so. He's not sure whether He can get an annulment or if He has to get a divorce. He is at tech training right now and will be moving to His first duty station in less than 3 weeks. He's not even sure what state to end this marriage in. They were married in TX, both from WI. Any suggestions? He will be stationed in AZ soon.
Where should He file? Should He file for annulment or divorce? She will probably be uncooperative as She wants the benefits that come from being a military spouse. Should He file for legal separation first?
They were married less than 72 hours after the marriage license was issued and her religious beliefs would benefit from an annulment vs divorce. It's not that He hates her, but she is a stage 5 clinger and won't make this easy and he thinks that if the marriage can be annuled for her sake vs. divorce then She will be more likely to agree. But He's willing to go through with a divorce if that's the only option. He realizes that they want very different things from life. He wants kids, she doesn't. He wants a partner 50/50 and She expects Him to take care of her. She's young and very needy. He's grown up considerably during his time away and the first reasons that She stated for wanting to get married while He was in training were for insurance and so that She could move with Him & attend school in the location of his first duty station.
Not completely. We expressed strong concerns about their rush to get married. We (all of our family) have not liked her for quite some time because we could see what She was up to, but when we told him about on AFBT graduation what She told us and her mother, it was a complete surprise to him and He thought that we were just trying to drive a wedge between them & making things up. So technically we told him, but She would tell Him that She didn't say that, whatever we we told him that She said, so he chose not to believe what He was told by us and then once they were married He could see that what we said was the truth. In addition She came clean about what she really thought on some of the relationship deal breakers ( kids & money) once they were married.
He's not completely innocent in this because there is a girl that he is friends with, but He says that He feels a connection with a girl that He met there more than he ever did with his wife, but He felt like he had made a promise to his wife that He'd marry her so when She said that She wanted to do it right away He caved in.
BTW, to our family it wouldn't matter whether it was a divorce or annulment. Just whatever it takes for him to undo this so that they can both move on. We would just like to have it be something that He can put in the past at some point that doesn't keep coming back as an issue over the next several years.
Thank you for your follow-up.There are a few grounds for an annulment but I mus be honest and state that getting a divorce would be much easier in this situation. Generally an annulment is granted in cases where there is a lack of consent for the marriage (the proverbial 'shotgun wedding' scenario), there is a mental infirmity not permitting a party to consent, one or both parties are underage and without permission from parents, lack ability to consummate the marriage (impotence), or fraud.Fraud, arguably, is possible if she withheld material and important facts before they married, but if she claims he knew or the factors are nt 'material or significant' then divorce would still need to be pursued. This is likely why seeking a divorce, and first filing for separation would be easier. If she agrees to an annulment it would be far better from your son's perspective since his military benefits would not then be pursued or modified, but it is something that if she fights him on, he would likely not be able to obtain.Good luck.
Thank you very much. That is the information that I was seeking, other than can you tell me if He should file in TX or WI? He's only been in Texas since The end of February 2013 and will be leaving for AZ in the middle of August.
Thank you for your follow-up. Glad to hear that I was able to assist you.He needs to file where he resides, which by your facts is Wisconsin. If he hasn't been in Texas for 180 days yet, he is not yet a legal resident there so Wisconsin law would control this.Good luck!
Thank you for the helpful information. Now He can get on with things. He's still in tech training right after basic, so there isn't really any substantial benefits that could accrue in during the 5 months that He's been active duty and the 5 weeks that they've been married.
Thank you again,
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