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Hi, are you able to see this and respond?
I am here.
Great. Thank you for your question.
You mentioned that you are not divorce from your child's father. Are you separated?
We are not separated, my husband just does not want to accompany me. Any suggestions? Should I turn down the job?
Well, there are several things that would have to be considered. How old is your son?
My son is 9 years old.
Does your son have any contact with Colorado? For example, does he have family there? Has he ever lived in Colorado?
There is no contact there, it is a promotion for me, and I feel it may be a better situation for him. (complicated) There is
No abuse in the situation, my husbands parents feels my son is his.
Do you think it just may be to complicated to work out?
You had originally said that your job may have you moving to Colorado, but because it's a promotion, that makes it sound like you have the choice to stay in your current job. Would the move be mandatory to keep your job?
I do apologize for all the questions--I want to give as complete an answer as possible, and these details help ensure that I can give the best answer possible. Thank you for your patience.
It is not necessary, but because the expense living in California is tough, the promotion would help financially for the family.
You had said that it may be a better situation for your son. Is that due to the finai
financial aspects related to the job?
The promotion could help with current bills, cost of living etc..
And as you mentioned, there is a cost of living difference that can't be ignored, which I am sure is part of the reason that you would want to move.
Would you say that either you or your husband take a primary caregiver role with your son?
Or perhaps it is about even?
I have been paying for all my sons expenses, dental, health, clothes, schools supplies/clothes, eye care, summer camps etc..
My husband has not contributed to my sons expenses.
Aside from the financial contribution, who is the primary caregiver?
My husband and I both take care of my son. There is not one more than the other.
Thank you. Please allow me to start by explaining how the law works in these situations.
First, the court can make custody orders even if the parents are not divorced. In fact, the court can technically order custody even if the parents are married and living in the same house. Situations like your arise and there is a question of law regarding where the child is placed, so court involvement is a legal possibility...
That said, custody is ordered based on the best interests of the child. Currently, your child resides in California where his father has declared he will stay. He has extended family in the immediate area. Unless you tell me otherwise, I will assume that he is familiar with and comfortable with his neighborhood, school, and community. Although you provide the financial support, both you and your husband are equally responsible for raising him. Kids need stability, and a move out of state would uproot him from all of these things and take him away from everyone except his mother. Currently, the move is not a financial necessity for you, although I don't doubt that it would be financially beneficial.
In that context, you would normally be very hard pressed to argue that the move is in the best interest of your son for the court's purposes.
So at this point it would be best to stay put.
Well, what's best is really your decision, but the courts would (based on the information given) normally have the child stay put. Whether you move off by yourself is technically an option. The nuances of every case are different, so it's always possible that I am missing an important detail (for example, if your husband is physically abusive to your son, that would likely change the answer), but based on what you have said, you would likely have to choose between the promotion or having your son continue to live with you.
Well, that pretty much answers the question. There is no abusive issues here, just a husband that
is retired not making much money and in-laws who feel I am not a good mother and would assume that my son is theirs.
Thank you for your time, it has been helpful. Have a good evening.
Although I wish I could give better news, I am glad that the information was helpful. I wish you folks the best.
Thank you. Take care.
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