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Samuel II
Samuel II, Attorney at Law
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 27009
Experience:  General practice of law with emphasis in family law.
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my ex husband continues to play games with regards XXXXX XXXXX

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my ex husband continues to play games with regards XXXXX XXXXX support payments. he insists on mailing child support checks and does not want to set up a probation account or transfer to my bank account. reason he gives is that it is easier for him to keep track of payments by writing out checks and postal mailing them. by this method of payment he is time and again claiming in court that he has proof of mailing and that i intentionally do not deposit those checks. there is obviously no way to prove how many checks were in the envelope. i cannot afford going to court. but when i do go i want to go with a strong argument that he was given these various options to pay via which we both have a proof of payment sent and payment received. a friend, who is also a mom suggested to send him in writing via email to stop sending by postal mail and give him my bank account details and ask him to transfer payments directly to my bank account from his bank account so that the time, date and amount sent and received is on record. she says to just leave it at that even if he refuses to send anything. he loves to play hardball and has not forgiven me for filing divorce--even after 10 years. is there anyway he can find an escape route out of this method of payment- i mean a good argument in court as to why he could not transfer to my bank account all this time? what is the best way to handle this situation?

Welcome and thank you for your question

I am an attorney with more than 25 years of experience and I look forward to providing you true and correct information in this regard.

Please remember, I can only answer what you ask and so if you have follow up questions, please post them here for full and accurate information before rating. If there are no other questions in this regard then I thank you in advance for your positive rating

I am sorry your children are having a difficult time with a Father who plays games with their financial wellbeing.


There should be no problems with him doing such a wire transfer. And there is no viable argument against it. Many of my clients do this an it works fine


The other option is that you have the Court order that only one check per certified mail

Customer: replied 3 years ago.

the kind of man he is, he will send a certified mail with just a silly letter in it with no check and then i will be going back and forth emailing him and wasting my time. i do like your previous suggestion though. please excuse my super slow typing as i hardly ever have time to use computers. i dont work and am a at home mom. can u plese tell me what tell me what to write to him about a bank transfer so that he cannot find an escape route?



I suggest you can tell him to avoid any other delay in the financial care of his children you feel that a Wire Transfer each month will be the best way to handle the court Ordered child support.


In addition, you can recommend that this wire be made automatic from his account to yours and suggest that he speak with the bank manager to make this arrangement


Then you will want to include the name on your account, your account number and bank routing number as well as the name of your bank

I suggest this is mailed certified with a return receipt requested


If he bucks this option, then file a contempt and show the court what you have presented as an option



Customer: replied 3 years ago.

ok this sounds great! if there is a cost for wire transfer should i also include that he may deduct that cost from child support monies. i am just trying to block everything.

i will send it certified mail but i also want to email this. can one deny the reciept of an email since he is such a hard ball player.

i also wanted to know that since i have tons of legal issues coming up often- is there an option to request for your services in the future or just anyone who is available coz i would prefer to contact you if possible.




There should not be a fee if it is coming from a bank that he has an account with to your bank


But if there is a cost, you can suggest you share it, and if not then you can say you will eat that costs


check with your bank and see if there is and also check with his bank and that way you can say you have researched this and there are no fees.

The email is ok - but for proof to the court I would only rely on the certified mail receipt of notice

You may request me by putting my name in the Header of the Post on this website.



Customer: replied 3 years ago.

thanks for the information and your patience. appreciate it and will speak with you soon again. take care.




You are welcome and good luck.

Remember, it is not up to him to decide if there should be a wage garnishment and if your children are being jerked around with his games, I suggest that would be the thing to do - whether he wants it or not.


And you an tell him in the letter that the wire transfer is the best option and the last one before you request a wage garnishment.

Samuel II and 2 other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you

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