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Law Educator, Esq.
Law Educator, Esq., Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 90269
Experience:  Experienced attorney: Family law, Estate Law, SS Law etc.
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Visitation of my child by ex spouse and child support:I

Resolved Question:

Visitation of my child by ex spouse and child support:


 


I need to know a few things for the state of Arizona.


I am recently divorced and have a 6year old child.


I have sole custody of her but the ex has in the decree that he has visitation for Mondays from 3pm to 7:30pm.


 


My ex called me today asking to have our daughter on Father's day for visitation without me present which has never happened. The decree does allow him to do that but I know how bad that is for the kid.


 


If I refuse I could get in trouble and all of the things I have documented probably would not be honored in my favor by a judge.


 


For the first year of the divorce I let him come over and visit her whenever he felt like it but I was always present. I did that to make things flow and for us to get along.


 


As of a month ago he stopped speaking to me and coming over. Now he keeps asking if he can take her for a full day or even overnight. I understand that I should not have agreed to allow visitation without supervision but I was so much wanting an uncontested divorce due to time and cost.


 


I have been documenting how this alcoholic man has should up for visits under the influence and cannot mange his own life.


 


He drives an unpaid vehicle that they are looking to repo and is uninsured and has not paid title and registration.


 


He socializes with very aggressive, rude, perverted uneducated guys that would be a threat to my child.


 


He is totally reckless and unsafe. He was recently homeless and phoneless.


 


He has left scary drunken messages on my voice mail that I saved. I cannot communicate with him since he goes against everything I say for the best interest of our child.


 


He bullies me and raises his voice and is mean and scary. He has not kept me current on his current living location and address as stated by the divorce decree to do.


 


He has not paid the required health insurance for her either which is 56% of cost.


 


I am supposed to get $500 a month from clearing house for child support and it has not always added up to that due to time off work or not enough hours.  He never paid me the difference.


 


He is constantly changing his phone numbers and pawning his phones. Debt collectors are trying to track him down left and right.


 


Last year he got a mistomeaner for criminal trespassing.


 


The report says he was too drunk to leave the property of a nightclub and kept vomiting outside.


 


One of his jobs called me last week saying he did not show up for over a week. The list goes on and on.


 


He cannot care for himself and certainly not for our kid.


 


What I need help with is the following:


 


Ex is now dating a law student who is advising him with our situation. Is it true that the visitation portion of the decree can be modified annually?


 


Can the divorce decree be modifyed annually as well?


 


Ex threatened to use the angle that I am on disability for mental illness against me as an unfit parent which is not the case and will be backed up by my treating doctor in order to modify visitation of the decree.


 


My ex is not on disability but has been diagnosed as depressed and quit taking his antidepressants.


 


My ex is an alcoholic and was just forced by a judge to go to an alcohol class for 16 hours. I have a copy of that document.


 


No overnights are in the decree. If ex trys to go to court to fight me on that to allow them how does a judge decide yes or no.


 


I am concerned because in the past ex blacked out during an alcohol binge and was penetrated by another male analy and claims that it was raped. I think he did it willingly.


 


So if he cannot protect himself how can he protect child. I am just curious if in front of a judge this goes back and forth how the judge decides who gets there way.


 


How easy is it to modify divorce decree from May 2012?


 


Is it true that is cannot be changed so soon since it is rather close to the original date.


 


Can a divorce decree be modified?


Can custody be changed?


Can travel with child rules be changed?


 


Once when ex took my kid for a walk alone he dropped her off at neighbors house without my authorization. That freaked me out.


 


Thank you I would love to hear your thoughts please.

Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Law Educator, Esq. replied 1 year ago.
Thank you for your question. I look forward to working with you to provide you the information you are seeking.

1) If the decree provides for father's day visitation and you do not allow that visitation, then he can take you to court for contempt of that decree. If you feel that this is a danger to the child or not in the best interests of the child, then you need to file an emergency motion in court to change the visitation order to preclude such father's day visitation. You cannot just pick and choose what part of the decree you want to honor, you have to go back to court to change it if you think it is not in your child's best interests and present that evidence to the court to get the change.

2) Based on your description of his conduct above, you have more than sufficient grounds to go back to court to get the visitation modified. You also have grounds to file a motion for contempt for him not paying the insurance as ordered. The judge is highly unlikely to give unsupervised visitation to an alcoholic with behavior you have described.

3) You can modify your custody/visitation based on significant change in circumstances if the incidents you are describing above took place after the visitation/custody order was issued. The divorce decree itself cannot be modified, but the visitation/custody order can be. With the blackouts and the severely bad conduct you are describing from the alcoholism, it is more likely than not you can indeed get the decree modified to supervised visitation only and most all courts based on the facts you described will order only supervised visits as it appears from your description he is not safe to be around the child alone.



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Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Thank you so much for your detailed response.

 

If you think it is not in your child's best interests and present that evidence to the court to get the change.

 

Would my own personal documentation count as evidence in a court of law or could he just deny all things I say?

 

Could he use my disability for mental illness (depression, mood disorder and anxiety) against me for anything?

 

Since his girlfriend is a 3rd year law student, should I take that as if he has a lawyer guiding him every step of the way?

Is the insurance that he has not paid treated like unpaid child support?

 

Is it treated as delinquent on a cumulative basis or year to year?

 

I notify him of all of her medical bills by email but he has not looked at his email account in a year. I do not dare discuss verbally of all the bills. Hope that my method of contact will hold up.

 

The judge is highly unlikely to give unsupervised visitation to an alcoholic with behavior you have described.

 

I have no evidence other than his 2012 criminal trespassing arrest that states the intoxication issue and the paper that shows his mandatory class.

 

Who will have to pay for the supervised visits? He is so broke as is. I could then see him fighting to reduce my child support due to much lower earnings. My point is if I upset things for him he will try and upset things foe me especially with this new law student helping him.

 

My fear is if I try and file that he is unfit and I lose, the win for him will empower him and make our future communications worse for me since he is very unpleasant and aggressive already.

Expert:  Law Educator, Esq. replied 1 year ago.
Thank you for your response.

!) Your documentation would be helpful, but he can deny these events and then without anything to corroborate your testimony it becomes your word against his word. So you do need some witnesses if you can do so.

2) He has a 3rd year law student girlfriend, that's nice, it takes most lawyers 3 years to even figure out what they are doing on a simple court case. Thus, while she may be of some help providing him information, she is not an experienced lawyer and likely not going to know very much more than very basic legal theory.

3) Insurance is not actually unpaid child support, it is extra on top of child support, but it can be held in arrears and he can be made to pay those arrears just like child support. So the court will make him pay that just like back child support.

4) You also have his alleged rape charge on top of the trespassing arrest, which is further proof of his alcohol abuse issues. I cannot make up your evidence for you I am afraid, you described it above and now you are saying that the evidence of what you said initially is a little bit less than the impression you have given initially. However, in court you simply have to make a reasonable showing he has a substance abuse issue and the court will likely use that to at least mandate random drug and alcohol testing. As far as your mental disorders, he can raise them but they are not an issue if you have them under control with treatment and medication.

5) Again, we cannot make your evidence any different than it is. If your evidence is not strong, then you might want to reconsider bringing this case at this time and let him continue on and you need to do a better job of documenting his abuse problem and gathering witnesses before you bring your case to modify the visitation.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Lastly,


 


The rape is not something he reported it was his explanation to me to justify the anal warts that his doctor had to treat years before the divorce.


 


I got concerned because he is throwing in my face that his girl is a legal expert and knows all the angles to take me down and all of his rights to give him what he wants and if I counter it they will defeat me. I do not have the finances to hire an attorney and got scared. She said that ever 12 months he is entitled to change the visitation. She suggested using my disability to prove my instability. I am frightened about not being able to afford representation.


 


I have no witnesses for anything, just my detailed personal documentation, police report and recorded drunk phone call. I wrote down all dates and episodes of instability on his part since us splitting.


 


It sounds like he does have the upper hand. ;-(

Expert:  Law Educator, Esq. replied 1 year ago.
Thank you for your response.

In any court case, the party bringing forth the allegations in the court has the obligation and burden to prove those allegations with evidence. You have at least evidence he is in breach of the divorce decree and you can pursue him on the contempt. As far as his alcohol abuse, you are going to need witnesses about that which you have the records of and the phone call and police report and you can use that to show he has a substance abuse problem.
Law Educator, Esq., Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 90269
Experience: Experienced attorney: Family law, Estate Law, SS Law etc.
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