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Ask Dimitry K., Esq. Your Own Question
Dimitry K., Esq.
Dimitry K., Esq., Attorney
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 41221
Experience:  I provide family and divorce law advice to my clients in my firm.
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hello, i met a man in an online site for people who want to

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hello, i met a man in an online site for people who want to build a family and to have a child together (this is the purpose of the site; its called baby for us). In the site his profile says he wants a child, he is well-off, mature for the process, and will support. We dated for 1-2 months, and he asked me not to take pills, he said he wants a child and he promised he will take care of me and the child financially. He is a ceo of a well-established company and gets aid from the government. Once I got pregnant, he abandoned me and didnt call all through the preganancy. I was sick at the hospital throwing up for two weeks. and home for 2 months throwing up. The baby was born, and he doesnt show interest in seeing the baby. I know that I can get alimony from him, but the question: Can I sue this man for compensation (mental anguish, lying on the web-site, lying to me, abandonment, the child will have to grow up without father, knowing her father abandoned her, the fact that I will have a difficult time meeting a new partner with such a story, the fact that it will be harder for me to find a job (single plus three), harder for me to earn a living as sole-provider of 3 - he knew that I have 2 others )?

Thank you for your question. Please permit me to assist you with your concerns.

I am genuinely sorry to hear that this relationship did not work out as you expected. Having said that, the answer I will provide you is likely not going to be favorable to you, so I ask that you do not blame the messenger in this situation.

Public policy does not permit parties to sue on the basis of broken promises pertaining to relationships or intimacy. In other words you cannot sue him for abandoning you or potentially misleading you as to his intentions. That is because such allegations would open the courts to tons of litigation that is very tough to prove, and ultimately the courts would not consider promises made in a relationship to be binding anyhow. You do absolutely have the right to pursue him for child support and assistance, but unless he actually sexually assaulted you (rape or forced and unconsentual activity), you have no basis under law to pursue him for anything beyond that point. I wish I had a different answer for you but something like this would not be considered as a legitimate claim and would likely be dismissed from the courts for having no basis to be pursued.

Please be well.

Dimitry K., Esq. and other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

hi Dimitry,

but the web-site is specifically a place to meet people in order to have a child. And he just used the site to have sex.

and then he threw me away violently.

He charmed me with his words and promised me every thing if I were to have his child, and then once pregnant he abandoned. The website is a place for people who are serious to have child and raise it up together...Not me alone.

This is a breach of contract with the site, with me, with the baby, with humanity. Now he continue to live life like nothing happened, and I have to raise the child alone, all alone in a vacuum. There is no justification to sue for damages?

Thank you for your follow-up, Anat.

Anat, I understand your feelings but just because a sit is built for a particular purpose does not mean that the site is somehow responsible for other behavior, or that the parties must engage in behavior that the site encourages. A good example may be a site that recently went up that is designed for those who wish to have an affair outside of marriage. I am going to leave the moral implications aside, I am just going to focus on that site itself. If someone who is not married chooses to use that site, they are still able to do so. Similarly someone who is married but chooses not to have an affair is likewise able to use the site. No promise is even made that the parties will behave as they claim because especially in relationships things change. I am not defending your ex, but stating that for example he may have initially wanted what the site described then changed his mind, or he never came to the site for anything but sexual intimacy. Both are still legitimate means of using the site.

You cannot have a contract to have a child and remain together--otherwise no divorce would ever take place. I agree that it is shameful that he is not involved in the child's life, but likewise he has no legal duty to do s--beyond support he has no other obligations to the chid. You can pursue child support, but you canot sue him for having him engage in sexual activity with you over false pretenses. Ultimately choosing that route was your choice as well, as was the choice to agree to have a child. In that case you cannot sue him for this loss, I am sorry.

Good luck.