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Chris T., JD
Chris T., JD, Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 4816
Experience:  I have assisted many customers and clients with their family law questions and I'm experienced in family law litigation.
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I found out my husband extramarital affairs (not one several

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I found out my husband extramarital affairs (not one several times as far as I know) by accidently looking his email. I captures his emails.
We've been marrying for 11 years, have 2 kids (8 and 10 years old).
My husband doesn't have a job right now, I'm a graduate student.

I think he is a sex addict or something.

My question is
1) Can the law force him to get treated?

2) Is there any legal separation before divorce? IF then can I take care of kids?
The problem is we receive money for raising kids from my husband mother in Korea, since he does not have a job.
If we live separately, can law force to pay the child care money from my husband mother?

texlawyer :

Good afternoon. I'll be assisting you with your question.

texlawyer :

To answer your first question, no, there is no way to force a person to get treatment for a sex addiction.

Customer:

he never admitt he did wrong thing, and never feel guilty

texlawyer :

As far as a legal separation, yes, New York does allow spouses to become legally separated. Most people that get legally separated enter into a binding agreement regarding child custody and financial matters.

texlawyer :

As far as forcing the mother to continue to send money, no, you cannot force a person to send money that they are not legally obligated to send. Since his mother is not legally required to send money now, she can't be required to continue to do so when and if you become separated or divorced.

Customer:

But my husband is responsible for the kids. but he doesn't have a job

texlawyer :

I understand, but that does not create a legal responsibility for his monther to continue to support them.

texlawyer :

If you get a divorce, the court can order him to pay you child support, and can include money he receives as a gift in the child support calculation.

Customer:

so if i want to raise kid by myself, I cannot expect any support unless he has a job

texlawyer :

In order to determine the proper child support amount, the judge will look at a person's income, whatever the source, whcih includes gifted money.

Customer:

he doesn't have any income, and also his mother doesn't give anything to him

texlawyer :

You should not expect it, but a court will order child support payments based on his income, which can include gift.

Customer:

what's the exact meaning of gift?

texlawyer :

The court does not have the legal authority to require his mother to continue to make payments to support the children. The children are legally not her obligation, so she can't be forced to pay.

texlawyer :

If his mother gives him money that he's not earning through some kind of employment, then it is a gift to him. However, if I understand you correctly, she is not giving him money directly.

Customer:

another question is I captured his e-mail, sending this to his family member is illegal?

Customer:

yes she directly give money to me.

texlawyer :

Assuming you didn't hack into his email, that is not illegal.

texlawyer :

If she gives it directly to you, she can continue to do that if she wants to, but she can not be legally forced to continue.

Customer:

not hack, he remained opeing his account

texlawyer :

Then it is not illegal.

texlawyer :

You are fine.

Customer:

And that emails can prove his adultery?

texlawyer :

OK. If he left it open, you are OK.

texlawyer :

You can use those emails to prove his adultery in court, if need be.

Customer:

If we decide the legal separation, is it involve who are going to charge the kids?

texlawyer :

Yes, it should addess child custody issues.

texlawyer :

The paperwork for a legal separation should address all the same things a divorce would. Also, it must be in writing.

texlawyer :

You should go see a local divorce lawyer to help you draft the separation agreement.

Customer:

During past 10 years, I almost take care of them. and specially in last 5 .5 years he was in KS

texlawyer :

OK. That clearly puts you in the best position to be the primary parent (you get the kids most of the time).

texlawyer :

However, that is something you and your husband will have to work out between you. If you can't, you can take the matter to court and ask a judge to decide.

Customer:

I see

Customer:

so what's the difference between separation and divorce?

texlawyer :

Legally, there is very little difference. Here is a good article you can read at your leisure that outlines the differences:

Customer:

I will look at that.

Customer:

So there is little option for me.

texlawyer :

Without knowing your entire circumstance, I can't really say what's best for you, but I can tell you that your three options are to get separated, get divorced, or to stay together.

texlawyer :

You have to decide what's best for you and your children.

Customer:

yes, If i need to separate, first I need to solve the financial issue.

Customer:

and if I live together, he must be treated.

texlawyer :

Yes, you will need to address your finances and child custody issues.

texlawyer :

I think that sounds fair.

Customer:

Can I ask you one more?

texlawyer :

Sure.

Customer:

I receive the green card as a dependent of him in April 2013

texlawyer :

I'm sorry, but I'm not an immigration law expert.

Customer:

Separation can affect the green card?

texlawyer :

If you have immigration law questions, you will have to post a new question in the immigration law section.

Customer:

I see

Customer:

thank you.

texlawyer :

Glad to help.

texlawyer :

If I can't do anything else for you, please remember to "rate" my answer. Good luck!

Chris T., JD and other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you

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