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Samuel II
Samuel II, Attorney at Law
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 21385
Experience:  General practice of law with emphasis in family law.
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I have been in an abusive marriage for 30 years. Most of it

Customer Question

I have been in an abusive marriage for 30 years. Most of it was severe verbal abusive. I finally filed for divorce and now my spouse is begging me saying that he's changed and to give us a chance. I have lost all the love for him being his wife. I don't want anything to happen to him. What should I do?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Samuel II replied 1 year ago.
Hello

I am an attorney with more than 25 years experience. I will provide your information today and look forward to assisting you.

I am sorry to hear that you are ONCE AGAIN being manipulated by this man. As I am sure you know, abusers are controllers, and if you have been married for 30 years to this man then you understand that he is now trying to control and manipulate you and that a leopard does not change its spots.

Of course, I cannot tell you what to do. Only you know whether he is going to be a decent person to you or not. You have gotten the courage to move forward and take this giant step for yourself. It will be up to you to continue or not.

If you have a local attorney you are working with, I suggest you talk to them about this. That is where your advise is going to come from as I can only give information and suggestions

I suggest that in my experience, they never change. You have done it all since you tried counseling. Frankly, it is probably a good thing that you are no longer in love with him.

I suggest, too, that you might want to contact a support group for abused women to help you with your decision. They are good at what they do. You can contact some via your local YMCA or get brochures from the public library or emergency room at your local hospital. Those groups are a good resource and have been through a lot as you and therefore can relate to your dilemma at this time.


My goal is to provide you with excellent service – if you feel you have received anything less, please reply back as I am happy to address follow-up questions. Kindly rate me when you are done.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Thank you for your advice! I am so afraid after all these years to move on! On one of the last things he did to me was to pull a "fake" gun on me in the darkness of the guest bedroom of our house! I screamed and he started laughing! The very next day is when I noticed something wasn't right with my mind. I felt like that was the last "straw" and that is when I filed! Now he says that he feels bad for what he has done, but I don't believe him!

Expert:  Samuel II replied 1 year ago.
Hi

It sounds as if you have and still are suffering from his abuse. I am sorry that he has done this to you. I am sure it will take some time to heal and get healthy.

I suggest that if you have filed seek the support group out. They will be able to be with you every step of the way. I am concerned that anyone who has tormented someone in this regard may actually have a real gun one day. It is just not something you want to toy with.

But again, I suggest that the advocates from a support group will be very helpful for you



My goal is to provide you with excellent service – if you feel you have received anything less, please reply back as I am happy to address follow-up questions. Kindly rate me when you are done.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Thank you! So, in what you've read that I am moving in the right direction on getting the divorce? I know that it might sound crazy but I really need a concrete answer! I also feel that he might REALLY hurt me one day! Thank you again!

Expert:  Samuel II replied 1 year ago.
Hi

Divorce or not, I suggest you need to get away from him. And so if you have taken that most courageous step of filing for divorce then I suggest that is your inner self knowing what needs to be done to set yourself free and keep you safe.

Yes, Divorce is a good step in this scenario.


My goal is to provide you with excellent service – if you feel you have received anything less, please reply back as I am happy to address follow-up questions. Kindly rate me when you are done.
Samuel II, Attorney at Law
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 21385
Experience: General practice of law with emphasis in family law.
Samuel II and 2 other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

I am 51 years old and my spouse says that I am too old to move on. Again, I have been faithful, on top of all the verbal abuse, for 30 years, so I want to know if this is correct or is he just manipulating me again?

Expert:  Samuel II replied 1 year ago.
Hi

Thank you for the follow up question.

In what regard are you "too old" to move on? I am not sure I even fully comprehend such a statement? Do you know what he means by that?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

What I mean is that I am 51 years old, so my spouse is thinking that is too old to start over for me!

Expert:  Samuel II replied 1 year ago.
Hi

I see

Well age is figment of your mind, in my opinion. And it is all relative. If you are talking about getting into relationships or financially on your own, it depends on what your frame of mind is, I suppose

I have seen a lot older move on from abuse.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Thanks! Yes, I agree that it's part of the verbal abusive marriage that I am in. I am a half-marathon runner and from the abuse I am constantly dieting, so I guess it's part of the abuse as I said.

Expert:  Samuel II replied 1 year ago.
Hello

I am sorry that you have suffered from this abuse and so it is something only you can decide. I wish you the best of luck with your decisions.

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