1. I am concerned about recent behavior, including last night, where my son is being used as a tool instead of my ex-wife communicating with me. He also called me last night attacking me for going to court and asking for sole custody. The court specifically ordered that the parents shall not discuss court proceedings or show court papers to the child and I have not said this so I know that my ex-wife must have.
If you believe your wife has violated the court order, there are options. For example, a motion for contempt is commonly used by parents to punish misconduct of this kind, when the other parent is intentionally and willfully acting contrary to the court's instructions. Bringing such action to the court's attention alerts not only the judge but also any evaluators as well about the behavior. 2. Is there any process whereby I can provide my concerns to the interviewer before she interviews our son? Or, would the interviewer likely misread my attempt to inform her as an attempt to manipulate the process?
Without knowing the particulars of the case or the reputation of the evaluator, it is truly impossible to say. In some cases, they will want as much information as possible and tell you so, their requests for insight are on-going. They take the information and assess it along with whatever additional information they receive from the children. On the other hand, evaluators that are particularly biased in favor of one gender or the other (e.g. the mother, for example) may take whatever information is provided and use it against the other parent. I've seen both happen. As noted above, however, the evaluator is able to review the paperwork that has been filed in the legal proceeding, including any allegations of contempt, and so can become aware of the behavior indirectly. Complaints of misconduct can also be brought to the evaluator's attention during any interviews with the parents, or via communications with the attorney or agent representing the children (if any).
That would depend upon the nature and content of the interview. Without knowing what the focus of the discussion will be, it is impossible to say. However, if during the interview it can be determined that the court order has been violated, then pointing it out would not be an untoward action to take. If not, then filing a motion and having a hearing specifically on that issue is another option. This is because, if it can be shown that a parent is manipulating the children, then misconduct of such a severe nature may call into question and undermine not only her own testimony but the past interviews of the children as well.The difficulty in representing yourself is how emotionally attached to the case you are. Parents who allow themselves to become distracted or defensive can at times appear uncooperative and even aggressive, which the courts generally do not want to see. This is especially true if the parent is a male. Sometimes it helps to observe other trials in court to see how attorneys operate, and adopt a similar straight-forward, direct, calm and even manner. And when you have an opportunity to speak or present your view, be it in the form of written motions or verbally, pro se litigants tend to fair better when they are clear and concise, even when they feel that they want to scream. If you are unrepresented, I would suggest that you keep contacting private attorneys - there are literally hundreds in your area, to see if any would at any time accept your case or agree to assist you pro bono or at a reduced fee. Many attorneys frequently take on case or provided limited assistance for pro bono credit, and you may convince someone to help in time. Even fresh young attorneys can be sought out, and though limited in experience they have the knowledge and TIME to really devote to the case unlike some more experienced attorneys might.
You should receive a copy of the report prior to the hearing by mail, but if not you can check with the court where it should be filed or the judge's office if it is being sent directly there.
As for father's rights resources, we are not allowed to make referrals. But, I can direct you to about.com webpage that may be a good place to begin. If you join one or more of the online support networks, you are sure to find other fathers in your state who can help refer you to resources they have benefited from.
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