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AttyCBradford
AttyCBradford, Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 643
Experience:  Criminal Defense and Family Law Attorney serving California Statewide
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is it legal for the mediator to talk to my exhusbands girl

This answer was rated:

is it legal for the mediator to talk to my exhusbands girlfriend

AttyCBradford :

It depends ont he nature of the communication

AttyCBradford :

Generally, if there is a solution focused evaluation or a fast track evaluation then NO, they will talk to whoever they have time to and whoever is in the child's life. Therefore, the girlfriend would be a part of this

AttyCBradford :

If it was just a standard court appointed mediation then no that should only be between you and your ex

AttyCBradford :

what was the purpose of the mediator being appointed?

Customer:

this is private mediation the mediator is talking to the girlfeind and my 2 adult sons. So is there aything i can do to stop this i am only talking for myself as my ex has the kids thinking everthing is all my problem and he had no part in the torture of being married for 27 years. He has moved to england and he is telling my 9 year old she is moving there with him for 4th grade. I am going to nurse practitioner school have been a nurse 33 years. He was gone 3 moths on international travel last year and was fine with me taking care of her. The real issue here is money. He does not want to pay alimony/child support to me. He is trying to forceme back to work when i have severe injuries in my back by doing a vocational evaluation. Agin about money that if I have to work he pays less. He makes 250K a year and has been spending all of it. He owes me back alimony /child support of about 30k and I really dont think I will se it. He has moved for a job for 2 years voluntaily.

AttyCBradford :

If it is private mediation then no. If you consented to private mediation or even if it was ordered by the court as private...then the mediator will talk to anyone who has an impact ont he child. HOWEVER, that does not mean that you do not have the right to have people talk to the mediator as well

AttyCBradford :

if he owes you back support you should have his wages garnished or his bank account garnished as well

AttyCBradford :

If you think that he is hiding money you could also file a motion for production of his tax returns and financial information

Customer:

I guess I will have to come up with a list of people that may talk to support me. this is hard since my mom was my best support and she had a stoke last year.

AttyCBradford :

What is the mediator's reason for talkign to the ex?

AttyCBradford :

Just to get her take on things?

AttyCBradford :

And remember PRIVATE MEDIATORS are NOT allowed to testify in court or write recommendations for the court

AttyCBradford :

so if they try to introduce it you should object to it as hearsay if you are not represented by counsel. Remember you do not have to outside mediation. You can just go through the courts as well

Customer:

i guess so but they have lived together for about 9 months so my daughter has had no choice but to be with her.She does much more than he ever did. he lets other people do his work therfore the big salary.

AttyCBradford :

i would just point those things out to the mediator that she has not been a substantial part of hte children's lives

Customer:

i though the recommendations for the court is why you go to them.

AttyCBradford :

Then that is not a PRIVATE mediation that is a court appointed solution focused evaluation

AttyCBradford :

I am a ca attorney and we use them for both purposes

AttyCBradford :

Also, if it is going to be presented to the court, then you have a right to cross examine the mediator when they are on the stage giving their recommendations to the jduge

Customer:

what is the difference? I really wish I could just go to the court but he pays so the court adopted the mediator

AttyCBradford :

The difference is one would be appointed by the court, the other is done solely by the parties in hopes of settlement, but once its appointed by the court its generally followed through by the courts so you will have to go and see what the recommendation is

AttyCBradford :

I would suggest hiring a lawyer and having him pay your attorneys fees

Customer:

this guy can testify. He said the first meeting that my ex could give his parenting time to the girlfreind while he is in england then I said I have first right of care and he said oh I guess you cant do that.

AttyCBradford :

No you have the right to your daughter before a step parent

Customer:

this guy is very male oreinted and i feel I will just get screwed.

AttyCBradford :

You need to get an attorney

Customer:

anyone you recommend in sacramento i am so worried this guy will recommend england for 4th grade and it will be six months to a year til I see her.Missing a year at this age will just kill me.

Customer:

then to think the guy will travel 3 months again this year and she will be with the girlfreind or a stranger.

AttyCBradford :

I cannot give you a specific attorney it is against our policy on this website but my recommendation would be to go to the legal aid in sacramento and have them give you recommendations

AttyCBradford :
Customer:

I meet with this guy on tuesday anything you recommend saying or not saying.

AttyCBradford :

Just come off as the parent not the one who is attacking hte other person... Make sure to bring any evidence you have that you have been the primary parent as well

AttyCBradford :
Customer:

thanks I will do that really appreciate that I hope I sleep tonight

AttyCBradford :

you are welcome and best of luck please don't forget to accept so I can get credit for helpign you

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