Hello. I understand from your question that you are having some difficulty communicating with your attorney. You may want to look into having a consultation with another attorney to see if they can help you. Or, you may want to proceed by representing yourself.
Also, if you feel the attorney has acted unethically or unprofessionally throughout the course of representation you may file a complaint/grievance with the PA bar. Generally, an attorney is supposed to advise you as to time limits and explain your options. So, by not explaining the exceptions process to you, this could be part of the basis of a complaint (along with the lack of communication).
As far as the other attorney's office not communicating with you, this is accurate. Generally, an attorney is not allowed to communicate directly with a person when they are represented by an attorney. Your ex's attorney would be breaking the rules if they were to communicate directly with you. If you were to fire your attorney they could communicate with you. Or, if you choose to hire another attorney, then those attorney's can communicate (but again, the other attorney would not be able to speak directly with you if you hire another attorney).
As far as the QDRO is concerned, because the divorce was signed on 11/27/2012, I doubt that you have surpassed any potential deadline to enter a QDRO. In fact, many times you could even wait years to have a QDRO prepared and entered with the Court. However, I would not suggest that you delay in getting the QDRO entered. If in fact, you did miss some sort of deadline, that might be another basis of a complaint/grievance and potentially malpractice of your current attorney.
In any event, if your ex refuses to sign the QDRO, you can file a Motion for Entry of QDRO with the Court. ( with the same Court Case as the divorce, not a new, separate case). Again, your attorney could file this, or you can fire your attorney and then you can file it. Once, you get to the hearing on your Motion for entry of QDRO, generally, you would explain that you had the company prepare it and you want it entered. If the QDRO accurately represents the terms contained in the Divorce, I doubt it would even get to a hearing and your ex would probably sign it and you could just send in to the Judge.
Once the QDRO is signed by the Judge, you will want to obtain a Certified Copy of the QDRO from the Courthouse and send it to the Plan Administrator. Generally, the Plan Administrator will carry out the terms of the QDRO from there.
Please let me know if you have any follow up questions or need any clarification on my answer. Otherwise, please RATE and ACCEPT my answer. Thank you and Good Luck!
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