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Phillips Esq.
Phillips Esq., Attorney-at-Law
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 12851
Experience:  B.A.; M.B.A.; J.D.
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My husband is bipolar and I am the only caregiver, only one

Customer Question

My husband is bipolar and I am the only caregiver, only one who does household chores and works. I cannot take this anymore - I am 53 and he is 57. We have been dealing with this for three years how. He contributes nothing to the relationship, family and household. He mostly sleeps all day unless he decides he doesn't need his medicine anymore and heads toward the manic side. I am exhausted . Iknow he won't agree to a divorce-he has it made. he lies in bed, watches TV , does whatever pleases him. I would like a divorce in which I only have to sigh. Is this possible?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Phillips Esq. replied 1 year ago.
Thank you for giving me the opportunity to assist you. Kindly use CONTINUE or REPLY button to ask for clarification or follow-up questions.

Question: My husband is bipolar and I am the only caregiver, only one who does household chores and works. I cannot take this anymore - I am 53 and he is 57. We have been dealing with this for three years how. He contributes nothing to the relationship, family and household. He mostly sleeps all day unless he decides he doesn't need his medicine anymore and heads toward the manic side. I am exhausted . Iknow he won't agree to a divorce-he has it made. he lies in bed, watches TV , does whatever pleases him. I would like a divorce in which I only have to sigh. Is this possible?

Detail Required: HIGH; Urgency: HIGH


Response: I am sorry to read that you have decided to end your marriage.

Yes, it is possible for you to get a divorce without his signature. This means that you have to proceed with the divorce unilaterally by filing a Complaint for Dissolution of the Marriage and having a Process Server to serve him with the Summons and the Complaint so that he would have opportunity to respond to the Complaint. You would have to do this as a contested case with a trial held on the issues of property division and support. However, during the process, the Court would attempt to get the parties to come to an agreement. If you cannot, then the trial must proceed and the Court would decide all the issues in the divorce without the parties’ signatures.



You may want to retain a local divorce Attorney to assist you with the case. However, most Courts have pre-packaged divorce forms that you can use. You can get the forms at the Court's web site or in the Clerk's office of the Courthouse in your County.




You can use the following sites to find local divorce Attorneys:

http://www.lawyers.com

http://www.justia.com

Phillips Esq., Attorney-at-Law
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 12851
Experience: B.A.; M.B.A.; J.D.
Phillips Esq. and 4 other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I have been to suppors groups and counseling that have both encouraged that I leave the realtionship. He has been in the mental hospital twice and in outpatient therapy 3 times in the past three years. I love him but am exhausted -he seems to have the mental capability of a kindergardner and similar behavior. Any other suggestions- i am at my wits end. Many nights I go to sleep with my cell phone and pepper spray under my pillow. I sleep in a separate bedroom. Recently he said he felt demons wakling on his bed and had to cast them out. this type of behavior is frequent, Any other suggestions?
Expert:  Phillips Esq. replied 1 year ago.
I have been to suppors groups and counseling that have both encouraged that I leave the realtionship. He has been in the mental hospital twice and in outpatient therapy 3 times in the past three years. I love him but am exhausted -he seems to have the mental capability of a kindergardner and similar behavior.

Any other suggestions- i am at my wits end. Many nights I go to sleep with my cell phone and pepper spray under my pillow. I sleep in a separate bedroom. Recently he said he felt demons wakling on his bed and had to cast them out. this type of behavior is frequent, Any other suggestions?


Response: Since you have already gone to counselling and he has been in and out of the hospital with no resolution, then regrettably, you do not have a choice but to end the marriage especially if he is “mentally unstable” and “seeing demons.” You should not be going to sleep in your house with a pepper spray underneath your pillow because you are fearful of your husband.

I am sorry that I do not have better news for you.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.


Where do I start? Should I move out? The house was mine before we married-no mortgage. I dont think he would ever move out unless he were to go back to the mental hospital and then I think i have a choice.I have done some research on the rights of spouses of mentally ill, but in what I found, the mentally ill seem to have the most rights and services -moreso than the spouse/caregiver.One website suggested to get what you need before calling it quits.

Expert:  Phillips Esq. replied 1 year ago.

Where do I start?


Response 1:
You need to start by retaining a local divorce Attorney to assist you with the case. If you do not want an Attorney, then you should go to your local Courthouse and get pre-packaged divorce forms, complete them and file with the Court. You would be given a Summons to service copies of ALL documents filed with the Court on your husband.

Should I move out? The house was mine before we married-no mortgage. I dont think he would ever move out unless he were to go back to the mental hospital and then I think i have a choice.I have done some research on the rights of spouses of mentally ill, but in what I found, the mentally ill seem to have the most rights and services -moreso than the spouse/caregiver.One website suggested to get what you need before calling it quits.



Response 2: The house is your property. If anyone needs to move out, it is him. He should be admitted in a hospital somewhere or go to a facility that would take care of him. It is really dangerous having him stay in the house, divorce or no divorce. He needs to be in a skilled facility so that he can be taken care of.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.


Thank you su much. this really helps.

Expert:  Phillips Esq. replied 1 year ago.
You are quite Welcome!


All the best

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