I am so sorry to hear you are going through all of this. The situation is certainly traumatic to you, but I am sorry to say that unless she actually goes to court and asks the court to vacate the order, because there was a physical encounter, her shirt did get torn and there is no documentation supporting your account of the marijuana (sadly, if there is no police report documenting it, the courts consider that it did not happen).
While the arguments you make, if you have witnesses and evidence to support them would favor you in a divorce
and custody hearing, I am afraid that they would have no impact on vacating the restraining order because there was observed physical contact from evidence of the ripped shirt. Thus, without her agreeing to the court that the order can be vacated, I am sorry but the court is not likely at all to vacate the order without that consent.
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