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max713
max713, Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 1893
Experience:  I am responsive, respectful, and relentless.
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I am custodial parent and have 73% custody. My ex husband is

Customer Question

I am custodial parent and have 73% custody. My ex husband is asking me for 2 days of vacation time with our children, a Sunday, which is my weekend and the following day -Veteran's day, because they are out of school. I was initially going to agree, but then I learned that he will be working that day. He is working from home and says that his wife is available to care for the kids, but in mediation, he was told not to ask for the kids when he is not available. His argument to me is that our orders state he only needs to notify me if he will be gone for more than 24 hrs during his visitation time, and his wife is avail to care for them. I am aware of our orders, but I view this as different situation since this is not his "regular" visitation time and is instead a "vacation request". I feel have a right to say no to his request, but I also don't want to be made to look bad in future potential court issues. Your feedback and assistance with a "safe" response to him, is appreciated.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  max713 replied 1 year ago.

max713 :

Hi, I'm trained and experienced in family law, and I would love to help you through your current situation. I cannot provide advice, but I can say that you are under no obligation to provide him visitations on your time. And to deny doing so on the grounds that he won't be there is even more reasonable. It is unlikely that this could be used against you; if you wanted to document the way in which you phrase your denial - reasonably - you can send it in an email or letter (creating a paper trail, and evidence if he ever tried to use it against you).

max713 :

Remember, this is legal information only; it is not advice.

max713 :

Does that make sense?

Customer:

Thank you. Can you please offer some sample wording of how I might best state my denial to him?

max713 :

You are most welcome; it's my pleasure to serve. To clarify, to suggest certain wording would constitute advice, which is impermissible. If you would like, I can review wording that you have, and decide as to whether it is close in kind to what is generally acceptable, which is merely information and not advice; again, I am allowed to provide information only.

max713 :

Does that make sense?

Customer:

Other experts have been far more helpful in their suggestions. You are declining to provide the "information only" which I requested.

max713 :

It is not only information if I tell you what to say, I'm afraid. I can tell what I've seen work before. If you were to say something along the lines of, "I am denying custody on the basis that it is (a) my court ordered custodial time and (b) you will not be available at that time anyway. To be clear, the date you request visitation is X and Y at X and Y time." If you then sign and date, that should be sufficient.

max713 :

Is there anything further would like to know? I'm here to serve you.

max713 :

I'm here to help you; let me know what you would like to know.

max713 :

Again, I am here to serve. As long as it doesn't constitute "advice", I will do what I can to provide utmost service.

max713 :

Does the sample wording provide what you needed, or is there still more information you would like to know?

max713 :

Are you there?

Customer:

thank you.

max713 :

You are most welcome.

max713 :

Please re-rate me, so I am not adversely affected by your initial rating.

max713, Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 1893
Experience: I am responsive, respectful, and relentless.
max713 and 3 other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  max713 replied 1 year ago.
Thank you; all the best.

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