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Lady Themis
Lady Themis, Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 7751
Experience:  Divorce, child custody, child support, etc.
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My husband and I have been married almost 2 years, I found

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My husband and I have been married almost 2 years, I found out some issues he had that effects his income, credit and I feel like possibly my safety at some point. He has a criminal history, 3 x for assault on a female, resisting arrest, DUI's, things of this nature, also is under Bankruptcy ( Chapter 13).
He has not hurt me or threatened me, but I am told he has a dark side. We have not been getting along for some time, he is not pulling his weight and has some mental issues. I would like him out of my home, he brought nothing into the marriage, I own my own townhome ( in my name only ), nothing is in his name. He did sign a pre-nup that says if we break-up, he only takes what he brought and the items are listed. Well, my question is: How do I get him to leave, I have given him 30 days to find a place and he resist, saying he does not have to go anywhere and that I cannot evict him. Do I have any recourse, I want this man out of my home ASAP. Please help! I really cannot afford an attorney, this man has taken me and used me so much, I am at my wits end. Also, he has used my credit cards and now I am in terrible debt because of him.
Thank you for your question.

North Carolina has a remedy called "Divorce from Bed and Board" in which the court can order one spouse to vacate the marital home. To qualify for this remedy, you would have to show fault based on one of the following grounds:

  1. Abandonment of the family
  2. Maliciously turning a spouse out of doors
  3. Treating a spouse in such a cruel or barbarous way that it endangers his or her life
  4. Indignities that render a spouse’s condition intolerable or life overly burdensome
  5. Excessive use of drugs or alcohol that makes a spouse’s condition intolerable or life overly burdensome
  6. Adultery
If you don't qualify, you may have to file for an absolute divorce, which requires a showing of insanity or separation for one year. This may require one of you to vacate the house. If you fear for your safety, you can get a restraining order in which he would be ordered out of the home.

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Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Thank you for your reply, I looked on the internet and was aware of all of the six grounds. In order for a separation, I would need him to leave my home, and how do I go about this if he refuses to leave. And if it does not fall under the 6 grounds.

Besides divorce from bed and board, the other options are filing for a restraining order, if appropriate, or leaving the home yourself. I understand why the latter option would not be desirable, but these are the options. If you choose to leave the home, you may want to get a separation agreement as to your rights, although your prenuptial agreement may cover that.

North Carolina is a tough state for divorce, because of the separation requirement.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Sorry to bother again, I want to make sure I understand this. What do you have to do in order to get divorce from bed and board? Do I have to hire an attorney or can I get the paperwork and do myself, what type of paperwork do I need to get this done and what are the actually steps to do this. Would leaving my home not be abandonment and I be at fault....I am so sorry that I am confused.

No bother at all.

The process of divorce from bed and board is not commonly used, and I am not aware of any fillable forms online that you can use for this purpose. Your local courthouse may have forms, or otherwise, you may need an attorney to draft the petition.

Abandonment is not one of the grounds for absolute divorce, although it is grounds for divorce from bed and board. This is why parties are often advised to enter into a separation agreement when separating for purposes of absolute divorce.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

I am still trying to process all of this, so you are saying I cannot tell my husband that he has to leave my home, although he moved into a home fully furnished, all bills paid. And I cannot evict him unless I am afraid for my safety and then I could get a restraining this correct?

Customer: replied 4 years ago.

We have no property to divide or children, it would be a simple divorce, do you still have to have separation papers in order to get a divorce. I know you must be separated for a year, but do the papers have to be filed with the courts?


You don't necessarily need a separation agreement during the separation period - that is not a prerequisite to divorce.

Regarding the home, you can tell your spouse to leave, but if he fails to, the police will not remove him unless there are issues of violence. The problem then is establishing the separation for purposes of divorce.
Lady Themis and 3 other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Thank you for your advice, I just needed to know my options and you satisfied those.


Have a good day!


All the best to you.

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