The fact that the father is refusing to exercise his visitation
with one of his sons would typically provide a basis for the mother
to seek a modification of the order of custody, seeking sole legal and physical custody
of both children based on the best interests of the children.
Legally, he is the father of the children and if he wishes to act in a manner that is so completely contrary to the best interests of his son, I would seek to have his visitation terminated altogether. This is sometimes very difficult to do since parental rights
are constitutionally protected, but if your wife had testimony from an expert (psychologist or other therapist) to indicate the extent of the damage he is doing to the children by acting in this manner, that would typically aid her in gaining sole custody
If the father wishes to avoid ligitation, a communication from a local attorney may compel him to change his behavior in order to avoid the expense of such litigation. Otherwise, a motion to modify custody would normally be appropriate under the circumstances.
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