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Alex J. Esq.
Alex J. Esq., Attorney at Law
Category: Family Law
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Experience:  Licensed experienced Attorney
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Im concerned that the father of my children (unmarried) will

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Im concerned that the father of my children (unmarried) will get visitation with my kids at some point. He is verbaly abusive and has been for 13 yrs. My 12 yr ld has been very damaged by being around him yelling at me and being intimidating to her.I now have 3 other children from donor sperm but he is on the birth certificate. He is also a defndant in a federal case right new and all charges have been reduced down to only tax evasion. He may go to jail or he may not. My daughter !2 yrs old wants nothing to do with him and he is blaming me, of course. He is now saying that she does not make the choices, her parents do. How can I protect my kids from ever having to have visitations without me there and furthermore, I would never want to have to send them with him for a week or weekend or anything. He is not a good example or rold model for them. The babies like him when he sees them every six months or so untill he yells at me in front of them r intimadates them with his loud voice. How do I stp him from getting any custody of them or visitation wiithout me there
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Alex J. Esq. replied 2 years ago.
Hello. My name is XXXXX XXXXX I will be happy to answer your question.

Are any of the children your ex's biological children?

Was the child custody/visitation/timesharing ever established for your children by the court?

Is the ex also abusive to the children?

How old are all the children?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

My 12 yr old is his biological child but he is on the birth certificate of my other 3 children as well.


 


No i never took it to court bc I was affraid.


 


He has been verbally abusive to my daughter and when he has been around the other 3, he can be very intimidating , yelling at them and at me in front of them calling me horrible things.


 


My children are 12, almost 4, almost 3 and almost 2 yrs old


 

Expert:  Alex J. Esq. replied 2 years ago.
Dear XXXXX,

Thank you for your follow up.

Unfortunately, there is a presumption that both parents share 50/50 custody, however this presumption can be rebutted/changed in court by showing to the court that one of the parent is either unfit to be a parent or to have custody of the children/unsupervised visitation.

While there is no sure way for you to make sure that the father doesn't obtain a court ordered visitation/custody of the minor children, it would be very important for you to document and to report any type of abuse to the authorities such as Child Protective Services / DCF and police.

Also, keep in mind, that if your ex signed the birth certificates, he would be presumed to be a legal father of your other 3 minor children and can file a petition to establish custody / visitation for them and the biological daughter at any time and unfortunately the fact that he has failed to pay child support, would not be a factor, as under the law child support and child custody / visitation are two separate legal issues that do not effect each other.

Also, if the father fails to visit children for more than 6 months, it would give you legal grounds to file for the termination of your ex's parental rights based on abandonment and even if the father's parental rights are terminated, he would still be subject to child support obligation for all the children.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

You see though, I have been both mother and father to these kids, many years living on and off with him. I stayed bc I didnt feel I could protect them if I wasnt there. My 12 yr old is severely emotionally damged and truly hates him. She wants nothing to do with him. He is a bad example for them all. He also may go to jail. He doesnt send a dime for them. He has never been to a pediatrician apt or parent teacher conference or anything.its always been just me. His whole family has not been involved in their life at all. He drives without a liscence and is not a good driver either. I wouldnt want them even in the car with him. He is a bully. If my 2 sons have him as an example, they will end up like him, a street hustler.

Expert:  Alex J. Esq. replied 2 years ago.
Dear XXXXX,

I completely understand your concern and can imagine how frustrating and difficult this situation must be for you.

It is important that you collect and document any and all abuses or child endangerment actions that the fa father takes and if the father at some point does try to obtain custody/visitation, you will be able to demonstrate to the judge all the evidence as to why he should not have any unsupervised visitation.

Unfortunately, as I stated before, the child support payments is a separate issue and could not be used against the father when it comes to custody/visitation matters.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

I just want to add that he never took care of us. When he was making money in the time hes being charged for (Using investors money As personal ATM)...we had no heat or evn electricity many times, even freezing cold winters, meanwhile he was purchasing homes for his sister, brther and Mother. But not his own child. I am affraid to report him bc he will consider me his enemy. Also, in the very begining used my social security number to commit a crime with his brother in my name without asking me or telling me. I was 8 months pregnant at the time.


 


Can I just document it for my own records and not report him? Would that mean anything to a judge if it ever comes down to it. I dont plan on ever living with him again. If my daughter tells the judge why she doent want to go with him, will they make her? SHe is only 12 yrs old. She has witnessed petty theft, his lying etc and his abuse.

Expert:  Alex J. Esq. replied 2 years ago.
Dear XXXXX,

Thank you for your follow up.

While you can certainly document any improper actions by your ex without reporting them to authorities, this evidence would not have as much weight as official reports.

Also, while generally the court will allow children who are 12 years old or older to tell the court/judge their wishes and preferences and the judge will take it into consideration, minor children do not get to decide whether they want to visit or live with a parent, but the court does, based on the evidence presented and what would be in the best interest of the minor child.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

This is all very bad news. So what if he is convicted felon soon, will that effect his rights?

Expert:  Alex J. Esq. replied 2 years ago.
Dear XXXXX,

Unfortunately, when a person gets convicted of a non-violent felony, it does not automatically effect this person's parental right, however you will be able to bring the fact that the father is convicted felon during any custody/visitation proceedings to show to the court that the father is not a credible person and also you will be able to bring up the evidence of child endangerment, such a the father driving his vehicle without a license and potentially would be able to drive your minor children if he is granted unsupervised visitation.

There is no ease/magic answer to your question as to how you can prevent the father from obtaining visitation/custody rights and because being a parent is a constitutional right, the court do employ great level of scrutiny when it comes to terminating or severely restricting parent's right to custody/visitation so you do need to be prepared to clearly demonstrate to the court and to provide solid evidence, as to why the father should not be granted any custody or visitation right, should he file a petition seeking those rights.

While I know this is not the best news you might have been hoping to hear, please do understand that I have professional obligation to provide each JustAnswer.com customer with correct and accurate answer, even if the answer is not favorable to the customer.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

one more question, The school recently called me down bc they are concerned about my 12 yr old. I explained about her dad and the effect its had on her bc they can see that she has emotional problems. They tld me not to ask her to get on the phone with him anymore or have him here to visit (obviously). Do I have to worry about the school reporting this?


 


Also, When he visited in may of this year, the IRS criminal investigation unit from NY banged on my door at 5 am to arrest him. They had flown in from NY to find him bc he kept giving them the wrong address. When they came in, they woke my kids up shining flashlights in their faces and my daughter was also traumatized by that.


I just cant belive that any court would even cnsider forcing childen into a situation that would be bad for them and possibly dangerous. There are many poeple angry at him bc he collected 8 million dollars from investors and nevr paid back or acounted for. I was also concerned that thse people would try to hurt me and my children thinking that its the bet way of getting him to pay them back. When in reality, he cares less about us.

Expert:  Alex J. Esq. replied 2 years ago.
Dear XXXXX,

Thank you for your follow up.

The school does have an obligation to report any type of child abuse/neglect/endangerment to the Florida DCF, so there is a good possibility that the school may report this issue to the state child protective services.

You would be able to bring the criminal history of you ex up in court, as long as it is relevant to the custody/vitiation issues and the judge is not likely to look favorably at the father's criminal past.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Thank you Alex for all of your help

Expert:  Alex J. Esq. replied 2 years ago.
Dear XXXXX,

Thank you for using JustAnswer.com and please click on 3 or more stars or an outer right smiley face to rate my answer, so I can receive credit for my answer.

Bonus and positive feedback is always appreciated, but is not required.

I wish you and your wonderful kids best of luck and may GOD bless all of you!
Alex J. Esq., Attorney at Law
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 13564
Experience: Licensed experienced Attorney
Alex J. Esq. and other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Alex, I would give u a bonus if i cold bc youve been excellent but the 79 dollar fee for this session im certain has already put me in overdraft in my bank acct. but you were excellent and caring and I have rated you as such. Goodnight

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