me and my ex (never married) share 50/50 custody through a verbal agreement. we two two weeks on/off due to the fact that we lve three hours away from each other. i was going through a low period in my life and a break up (not ours) and tried to commit suicide two years ago. iconfided in him because at one point we had a very good parental relationship or so i thought. he has a text saying that i tried to kill myself over my ex and is willing to use it in court. i recently filed for custody because im so tired of him being hot and cold with his feelings for me. one minute he hates me the next minute hes civil. for the past two years ive done nothing but take steps to better myself for the sake of our son and ive been doing very well. he says he doesnt need me to take care of his son that e would prefer to do it on his own but then will go back and say im glad your his mother i couldnt have raised a better son without you. very wishy washy and its exhausting. i am back with my original boyfriend and i tried explaining to him that it wasnt him who drove me to take pills is was the fact that i handled coping in a very bad way and i fixed that. i guess im asking can he use my two year old suicide attempt against me when gaining custody. hes asking for sole physical with visitation. im asking for physical joint with visitation. i said that he could have him for the summer, holidays, school breaks, weekends and come and see him whenever he wanted. he says he doesnt see me as being a fit mother. i feel like hes just trying to alienate our son though because whenever i pick him up he throws a fit and says im taking him away from his dad. that hes never going to see him again and it breaks my heart. i dont speak badly about his father. his father is the one who speaks badly to me. if hes saying these things to me than what could he be saying to our three year old? im scared that if he would be granted custody my son would grow to resent me.he also asks me personal questions like if im pregnant. he once sent me a text saying he found some panties and werent sure if they wre mine and then named off two other girls. he says that he just wants us to be a family so thats how i know that this is personal and he just cant let go. its been three years since i left him and i just want whats best for my son and i really dont think that his father as good of a father as he is, is going to be stable for him. he once told me that he wanted to move to switzerland because he needed ot get away from everyone. he said that he couldnt get a life insirance policy that couldnt cover anything other than natural causes so he took out a trust and made me benificiary of it just in case anything happened to him. he said to let our son see his family still and that he was sorry he couldnt be a better person. he never moved to switzerland but i took it as him saying goodbye. i have all of this in a text. he also never took our son away from me and never filed for temporary custody. cps was never involved and i was never taken to a psychiatric facility. can he use this against me? will a judge take me being stable for the past two years into consideration? or am i to be the summer parent because of my past?
State/Country relating to question: California
Hello and thank you for allowing me the opportunity to assist you.Q: i guess im asking can he use my two year old suicide attempt against me when gaining custody.A: He can attempt to use it, but the court may not give it much weight. In fact, I'd be surprised if the court would give it any weight at all since it is 2 years old and more than likely will just appear to be written by you when depressed over a breakup rather than a serious communication about a suicide. Moreover, the text message will be hearsay, so it's possible a judge wouldn't even allow him to enter it as evidence. In any event, it is doubtful that one text message would sway the judge in his decision regarding custody.Q: can he use this against me? will a judge take me being stable for the past two years into consideration? or am i to be the summer parent because of my past?A: As stated above, he can try to use the text against you, but I doubt the judge would give it much weight (if he can even get it admitted considering it's hearsay). Judges don't like parents who alienate the other, and custody decisions are often made with that in mind. So, if a judge thinks that one parent will be less likely to alienate, then that fact works in that parent's favor. Your ex may be shooting himself in the foot by attempting to alienate you.If you would like any additional information or need clarification, please do not hesitate to ask! Also, I strive to be as helpful as possible so that you are satisfied. Accordingly, please remember to give me positive feedback (doing so does not end our discussion). If you feel the need to rate me poorly, please stop and instead of rating me, reply via the REPLY or CONTINUE CONVERSATION button with the issue that you have. I will be happy to continue our discussion and do everything that I can to provide you with the service that you seek.Thank you.
Licensed to Practice Law
oh and i was hospitalized overnight for the overdose but the mental health counselor released me because i told her i wasnt going to do it again and that i didnt want to lose my baby.
Hi again.That's certainly something that your ex can bring up to the judge. But I wouldn't assume that the judge will make a decision based just on that. First, it was 2 years ago. Second, it doesn't necessarily mean that you are an unfit parent. Third, you've had shared custody for the past 2 years without any problems. So, I'd be surprised if the judge removed custody from you just because of it.
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