My mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer's about 7 years ago. My father was alive and was a major caregiver until he died in 2010. There are 9 siblings, but 1 sister had herself appointed POA for my mother. She is also her health care agent. My one other sister and I have my mom's legally signed permission to view her medical records. When my father passed away, my mom went to live with the youngest sibling in the family. The POA was not in place at this time. About 6 months after Mom was in the wonderful environment, my sister, who is now POA, decided to create problems. Against the advice of all of the siblings and my mom's doctor, my sister now has my mother living with her. There have been many battles about our seeing our mother. Now, due to the stress my sister says is unbearable, she is blaming the rest of us for having had a mini-stroke and to spite us, said she will be putting our mother in a nursing home ASAP. She has since denied us contact with our mother. She threatens us with going to court, etc. and she, her daughter and husband shout at my mom. She also lies about our mother's health, sold much of my father's, now my mother's, property and has locked us out of our mom's home. She screams at us when we try to talk to her and WILL NOT LISTEN. We want to see our mother. How do we get past our sister?
State/Country relating to question: Wisconsin
We have tried talking with her, talked with human resources, attorneys, my mom's doctor, helping out with whatever we can, even letting her dictate to us because we want what is best for our mother. She tells us that she is going broke with Mom living with her and when we ask to see written records so we can judge what financial help we can continue to offer, (We take care of a lot now), she screams at us and says she doesn't have to show us anything unless we want to "GO TO COURT"!
Hello, my name is XXXX, XXX I'll be answering your question. First of all, let me say that this sounds like a very difficult situation; there probably is no easy way out, because you've tried all the easy ways.
You do not mention it, but I'm assuming the power of attorney was what they call a 'durable power of attorney,' that is, it has a statement in it that it continues in effect after the principal becomes mentally disabled. If it doesn't have such a statement, then it expired when your mom became mentally disabled.That said, your only other resource is to petition the court for one of the sisters to be appointed guardian of your mother.
Such an appointment would effectively trump the power of attorney.
Naturally, it wouldn't be easy, because you can expect the POA sister to fight this.
The fact is that we don't know if this is a durable POA....AND every person I have talked with says that it is not my legal right to know this information
The doctor's office should have a copy, and you can see it with your release of medical information.
NOBODY has told us this. Is this only for the health care part or the financial part or just the financial part?
I'm not sure I understand your question. The release will get you whatever document is in the doctor's chart.
What I am sayin
What I am saying, is that my sister took my mom to an attorney's office and they had her sign what my sister has termed a document that says she has financial power of attorney over my mother. THAT is the document we are also wondering about since she makes every decision for my mother without even consulting her, and Mom is cognizant enough to answer as to what she wants or not.
Another resource is ... the state has an office that investigates situations where an elder is being abused or exploited; it sounds as if this may be going on here.
So, ultimately, the 7 of us have no right to see what Mom signed in the attorney's office, whether it was done correctly, or what the responsibilities and restrictions on us are?
No, not just because you are her daughters.
So...go to court....
or ... call the Wisconsin Department of Health Adult Protective Services Response System. They should investigate, where her property is disappearing with no explanation.
you can see them at www.dhs.wisconsin.gov/APS/pros/index.htm
thank you. You have been very helpful. We appreciate your help. :)
I've been in practice for 30+ years, concentrating in family and employment law. I enjoy helping people.
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