My ex fiance abandoned me when I was pregnant, telling me he was going to the store and taking a bus from NE to NC. He said he still wanted to be with me, but wanted to reside in NC. I refused to move with him and to be with him. He made no effort to make a Paternity agreement and since he was not my husband, by law could not be listen on birth certificate. He has acknowleded her to me in our phone calls as his daughter. However, when things turn ugly ( i say i dont want to be w him, and say i want a paternity test and child support) he says he will not take one. When i say i can have it court ordered, he says fine, then "I want every summer, vacation, holiday and birthday. He also tells me at random he "wants not a f**king thing to do with her". Clearly he is using the visitation/custody to manitpulate me into not taking legal action to pursue support. He tells his family I was lying about being pregnant, when i showed them pics that I had a baby they say well if he is not on the certificate he s not the father. Now he and his girlfriend are threatening me, saying "we will get all th at a FATHER deserves!" Even though she is 8 months old and he has made no effort or paid for even a baby wipe since finding out I was pregnant in Feb 2011. What can I do?? Also, he has at least 4 other children with three other woman. One is 18, one is 15 and he and his exwife agreed out of court that she would get child to herself as long as he doesnt pay, he gave up the last two for adoption to ex wife number three new husband, as he was so in arrears with child support. I have all that paperwork. He is a master manipulator, cheater, and liar. All these babies and he pays nothing. I am scared to let my daughter be around these people. He has threatned to me to kill his exwife, in detail. I could go on and on...please help.
Country relating to Question: United States
I tried asking him to just pay what he could, just buy her a pair of jeans, etc. Come see her. He says he will and wants to, but I havent seen a dime and she is 8 months and hasnt seen her. I have to lie and say i want to be w him just for him to talk to me...
You need to go to the local child support enforcement office and file for child support, they can enforce child support against him and if he refuses they will issue a support order against him. They can pursue back support from him and will seek to garnish his wages. If he is out of state you start with your local child support enforcement office and then they can refer you to the child support authorities where he is located and they will pursue your rights to support if he refuses to pay or refuses Paternity Testing. You should also use legal aid and file a petition for sole custody to have a court order denying him custody or visitation to stop him from coming to try to get custody.
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Do you think I can stop him from getting visitation? (given his track record, etc.) He and the gf are definitly scaring me, saying they will get ALL ...visitation, vacations, holidays,etc. and that court will decide so many OTHER things (whatever that means). I dont want to lose ,y little girl on all those special days, to spend it with a sociopath.
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If anyone could answer it tonight, I would appreciate it greatly.
Thank you for your follow-up, and your patience. I was reviewing the conversation on top to ensure that I did not miss anything based on your initial response.First of all I wholeheartedly concur with the previous professional. Manipulations and games do not keep someone from being liable. Nothing stops you from filing for support if he formally acknowledged the child, but would take a court order to enforce the support payments.As for your subsequent posts:Do you think I can stop him from getting visitation? (given his track record, etc.) Hard to say, but what I can state is that the courts tend to focus on 'fitness' of both parents, and if you can show neglect, violence, and lack of visitation, solely due to the child's age I really see very little chance that the courts would grant anything more than supervised visitation. I doubt they would completely cut him out unless he is dangerous and physically violent to the child.He and the gf are definitly scaring me, saying they will get ALL ...visitation, vacations, holidays,etc. and that court will decide so many OTHER things (whatever that means). I dont want to lose ,y little girl on all those special days, to spend it with a sociopath.I can understand that, and at least until she is 3 or so, I doubt the courts would grant him anything more than a few weekends of supervised visitation, unless of course he can show that you are unfit yourself and attack your fitness successfully. That is unlikely if he has not been in the child's life or paid support.Good luck.Dimitry Esquire41094.1972489583
thank you for your answer. he lives in nc, i am moving to CO, how would visitation work? Plus, he changed his number and wont give me his address and said he is moving, I have his full name and SS#, can I track him with that. He also says he will never go to court or take a test.
Thank you for your follow-up.If he wants visitation, he would have to come to you since you would not be obligated to move to him or to travel to see him. A child that small is obviously not going to be permitted to fly or ride the bus to see him. While he may say he will never go to court, if you name him and serve him, it is irrelevant, you would be able to name him by default.Good luck and take car.eDimitry Esquire41094.2026680903
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