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I had sex with my sister-in-law now shes pregnant. she is actually

Customer Question

I had sex with my sister-in-law now shes pregnant. she is actually 6 1/2 months along.
from day one of the pregnancy me, my wife, her and her husband have always agreed
that me and my wife should and will get custody of him. Me and my wife have never
missed a dr. appt. have bought her food every week and supply her with her pre natal
vitamins. about a week ago we all got into an arguement and now she is saying that the
baby is another mans other than mine. all of us no her husband is 100% not the father
and until now thought i was the only one that vould be. she said she is not letting me be on
the birth certificate and that she is not going to tell the other "mystery man." instead she is going
to place it up for adoption so we cant have him. i want to take a paternity test so maybe I will be the father but if not can me and my wife still get custody since weve been there and love him like our own?
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Phillips Esq. replied 2 years ago.
Thank you for giving me the opportunity to assist you. I encourage you to ask me for clarification, if you are not clear with my Answer.


Question: I had sex with my sister-in-law now shes pregnant. she is actually 6 1/2 months along.
from day one of the pregnancy me, my wife, her and her husband have always agreed
that me and my wife should and will get custody of him. Me and my wife have never
missed a dr. appt. have bought her food every week and supply her with her pre natal
vitamins. about a week ago we all got into an arguement and now she is saying that the
baby is another mans other than mine. all of us no her husband is 100% not the father
and until now thought i was the only one that vould be. she said she is not letting me be on
the birth certificate and that she is not going to tell the other "mystery man." instead she is going
to place it up for adoption so we cant have him. i want to take a paternity test so maybe I will be the father


Response 1: Yes, this should be the first thing that needs to be done. You need to file Complaint to Determine the Paternity of the Child and request that a DNA be ordered by the Court before any adoption of the child can go through. If you are proven to be the father, you can then get custody of your child.


but if not can me and my wife still get custody since weve been there and love him like our own?




Response 3: If you are not the father, you can petition for adoption of the child. However, if the mother refuses to cooperate with you, it would be quite impossible for you to adopt the child.

Customer: replied 2 years ago.
even if there are countless witnesses to what is going on? if im not the father then there is nothing i can do? we have done bought every necessary item he will need, moved into a bigger house so he would have plenty of room, and been there every step of the pregnancy helping out the mother with everything she needed. that doesnt count for anything?
Expert:  Phillips Esq. replied 2 years ago.

even if there are countless witnesses to what is going on? if im not the father then there is nothing i can do? we have done bought every necessary item he will need, moved into a bigger house so he would have plenty of room, and been there every step of the pregnancy helping out the mother with everything she needed. that doesnt count for anything?


Response
: Unfortunately, if the baby is not yours, the mother is in the driver's seat. The mother can refuse to let you adopt the child regardless of the number of witnesses you have or what you have expended for the child and the mother. In addition, even if the mother has agreed to let you adopt the child if the baby is not yours, the mother can still legally change her mind. Adoption is voluntary. The mother cannot be forced to go through with the adoption. This is the current law.

Customer: replied 2 years ago.
No she can change her mind up until a certain point! but once that line of paperwork or whatever it is
has been crossed then she cant according to alabama's law and thats the kind of information im expecting to recieve, not just being told the basics you would give to a ten year old that isnt actually trying to fight for what he wants.
Expert:  Phillips Esq. replied 2 years ago.
I am sorry that you do not like what you are hearing, but I stand by my previous answers.

Also, I do not see the law that you are referencing. It would be helpful if you cite the specific law in Alabama that forces a mother to give up her child for adoption.


Thanks!
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I never said anything about force! And if i knew all the laws why would i be on hear talking to an "attorney?" All i was asking then was isnt there a certain line or amount of paperwork that the mother has to change her mind in accordance with alabama state law? Or are you saying that at any point during anytime the mother can say "uh nevermind?" If that is the case does she not have to prove to anyone an explanation why?
Expert:  Robert replied 2 years ago.
Hello and thank you for choosing JustAnswer!

The other expert was correct when he indicated that, if you are not actually the father, that there is nothing you can do about the child. However, if you can prove she mislead you to get you to pay for pre natal expenses then you may be able to recover such expenses in a civil suit against the mother.

If you are the father, then registering as the putative father (which you can do before the child is born) will give you the right to be notified, and a chance to object, if the mother tries to give the child up for adoption.

The following link will explain more about registering as a putative father:

http://dhr.alabama.gov/services/Adoption/Putative_Father_Registry.aspx

If the mother continues to deny that you are the father after the child is born then you can petition the court for a paternity DNA test to establish paternity.

For more on establishing paternity see the following link:

http://dhr.alabama.gov/services/Child_Support_Services/Establishing_Paternity.aspx

I hope this has helped and I wish you all the best! Please let me know if you need me to clarify my answer and I will do my best to so clarify.

Thank you,



Robert
Expert:  Alex J. Esq. replied 2 years ago.
Hello. My name is XXXXX XXXXX I will be happy to answer your question.

Your previous expert had opted out, so I will answer your question.

I am sorry for your difficult situation, however under the Alabama law, until the child is born and the legal adoption is finalized by the court, the biological mother of the child can change her mind at any point and you would not have any legal recourse and any contract for an adoption in exchange of some material benefits for the parent(s) would be illegal and thus null and void.

So, unfortunately, the only chance you have of obtaining a custody of this unborn child, is if you file a paternity petition and the child is proven to be your biological child and the paternity for you is established.
Expert:  Robert replied 2 years ago.
I apologize for the confusion of having two Experts respond after your initial Expert opted out of the question.

If there is anything else I can assist you with then please let me know and I will be glad to help. If you are satisfied with my answer then please leave me positive feedback. If you are not satisfied then please let me know how else I can assist you and I will be glad to help.

Thank you,




Robert

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