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stevexo, Family Law Attorney
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 1000
Experience:  30 years helping those with Family legal needs
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My son of age 44 has mental health and had a concussion 7 years

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My son of age 44 has mental health and had a concussion 7 years ago. I am debating if I should get guardianship over him. He makes poor decisions and spends hiis SSDI check foolishly etc and the check is gone and I am paying for his living expenses. He has never married and I have the one to take care of him through severe illnesses and kept him living with me without charging him. He cannot take care of himself.

If I were to get guardianship what are the pros and what are the cons?
Glad to help. You really have 2 alternatives here. You could have a Power of Attorney that appoints you to make all the decisions you are speaking about. This way you would be making all the decisions and be in control, you might want this, or might not. You could also set him up with a guardianship where the court will appoint a person to oversee his decisions and look out for this best interests. Under PA law they do prefer a POA if possible. The court in order to appoint a guardian must find him incapacitated, and if that happens then he will not be able to make any of his own decisions, as he would no longer be a competent person. If in fact you think he is incompetent and you feel like this is just to much to handle than the guardianship would be a good idea. If it has not gotten to this point, than you would be better off with a POA. Sincerely, Steve
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Dear Atty. Steve,

I neglected to tell you that I DO in fact have POA. However, he could decide to withdraw that at anytime from what I understand. Also, another issue is with regard to dealing with HIPPA. Here is another biggy. We filed a lawsuit in 2005 as he was a peds hit by a tractor trailer. We settled in 2009 for 90K (40% lawyer fee plus expenses a0K). The PI lawyer when it came time to distribute the $, had me running in circles. Then he became our adversary and took us to court costing me needless fees. In another county a judge told me to get guardianship (it was not an order). And 2 years later we still do not have the $. Sorry to say this but I think this lawyer is devious and friends with this particular judge for reasons that he asked the court administration to schedule with this particular Judge. We had gone to an elderlaw atty. in 2010 and the suggestions she made, the PI didnot like and so this costed $1400 x 2. And I have a letter she wrote to the Bar Assn that this lawyer did not want to go along with her suggestions. They did not want to get involved. So, do you have any suggestions of what can be done in this regard. My son's health is not good. I hate to say it but I worry that he will not even be able to enjoy anything if this goes on too much longer and it has made him extremely depressed. So I have been the one to advocate for him and it has taken a toll on me.
Thanks for explaining this. For sure you need to have a guardianship for him. This will take allot of pressure off of you, and he will be well protected in all situations. Your relationship with your Son should also get better as you will not be the person giving him direction and it should go allot smoother! Sincerely, XXXXX XXXXX I suggest setting up this guardianship asap
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Dear Atty. Steve,

Sorry to say that now I am really confused. Am I correct in thinking that you kind of made an about face on this and if my thinking is correct, would you mind explaining why? Thanks
No, take a look at my first answer, I did not prefer one over the other, it depended on the situation as it appears to you. After you stated to me that you already had a POA and that you would not want him to just be able to terminate it, which could be done if he was not declared incompetent, and that you reiterated once again how hard this was for you, and indicated it would be hard to keep going like this, I concluded that the POA was not sufficient, and feel like the only thing left to do to protect him would be the guardianship. It would not make sense to have you keep doing the same old thing, when the results you are getting are not satisfactory. Hope this clarifies my position. Sincerely, Steve
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
I understand now. Thank you! I'm not sure that I would be comfortable with someone other than me to be his guardian. First of all, I am a nurse and have attended to and monitored his physical issues (severe bone infections etc,). And also, it is I who know his medical needs and want to be involved in his health care. Secondly, if someone is appointed guardian other than me, it could be eaten up by fees and I would not be happy with that. So do you feel that either I AND his younger brother could be co guardians or just me?

I don't mean to carry this on but these are questions that I have before proceeding.
Being a nurse you are real qualified! I do not see a problem with you and his brother being co- guardians, as that might take some pressure off of you. Just make sure you both get along well! Sincerely, Steve
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