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Ely, Counselor at Law
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 99506
Experience:  Private practice with focus on family, criminal, PI, consumer protection, and business consultation.
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My husband is seeing another woman. I have video evidence of

Resolved Question:

My husband is seeing another woman. I have video evidence of them checking into hotels together. He has never admitted to seeing someone else. What is the best legal way to use the video and picture evidence.
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Ely replied 4 years ago.
Hello and thank you for the opportunity to assist you. There might be a slight delay between your follow ups and my replies as I am typing out my answer, or taking a quick break. Please remember that this is general information only, not legal advice, and no attorney-client relationship is formed.

I am sorry for your situation. This depends on what you mean in terms of "best way?" Are you seeking a divorce and wanting to know if/when you can introduce the evidence to the Court? Or threaten to do so?

This not an answer, but an Information Request. I need this information to answer your question. Please reply, so I can answer your question. I look forward to helping you.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
My husband will not pay for a divorce. He wants me to file an uncontested divorce on-line. He does not know I have evidence of him seeing another woman. I wanted to know when would be the best time to disclose this information. Do I keep quiet until maybe he decides to file. That might be a while and as the months go on he might quit seeing her. I want to know if the best time to reveal this information is now. Would it be wise of me to file for a dovorce with a lawyer
Expert:  Ely replied 4 years ago.
Thank you.

First, understand how this is advantageous to you. A no-fault divorce generally means that the marital estate is divided by equitable means. Equitable means fair, but not necessarily 50/50. See here for a good explanation:

Under New Jersey Statutes - Title 2 A - Chapters: 34-2, adultery is grounds for a "fault" divorce. How is this different? If you prove a fault in your divorce, you are more likely to get (1) a division of property in your favor, and (2) alimony amount. In other words, his fault may be weighed against him in the subjective decision-making power of the Court for purposes of property, assets, and post-divorce alimony support.

It is up to you whether you wish to (1) tell him you would use the evidence and have it be public when you file and call his mistress to court as well as ask the court for a decision in your favor in terms of division of property, etc, unless he agrees to an uncontested divorce in your favor; or, simply agrees to a divorce - period - since I do not know what it is that you specifically seek; or (2) spring it on him when you file for divorce and mark "adultery" as a claimed fault.

The bad side to telling him before filing is that he would have ample time to work out a defense (he would, anyhow, after you file). On the other hand, you really do not know what will happen in Court if you try to prove the adultery. Ergo, it simply depends on how this plays out.

Nonetheless, I hope this has given you the information that you can use to make an informed decision.

I hope this finds you well. Please remember – I do not get credit for my time with you unless the answer is rated/concluded by you (while no mandatory, a bonus is always appreciated); I work very hard to formulate an informative answer for you – please reciprocate my good faith. If you need more information, simply hit reply so we can chat until you are satisfied. You may always come back to this thread for follow ups on this topic free of charge.
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