Under the discovery rules the two parties are expected to cooperate with discovery and supply discoverable information. If they want discovery, then the attorney has to tell you what they want and you need to ask them. If they will not tell you, then you have no duty to meet them before the settlement conference or to give them anything before the conference if they do not ask for it and/or if what they are seeking is not something that is reasonably part of discovery. The court will not expect you to "fly blind" so to speak, so even if they complain if you can show they did not communicate with you about what they were seeking the court will not take action against you.

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For the settlement conference, you need to realize that the term "settlement" means that neither party may be happy with the results but the results are something they can live with even if they do not like them. Thus, you need to set out for yourself your maximum goals you want to get out of the settlement and then you need to be very objective and realistic as to what the absolute minimum you would take, even though you would not be happy about taking it. Look at your minimums from the perspective of the other party, which is tough to do, but necessary. You are going to have to be willing to give up some things you may want to get other things and you have to prioritize the items that are most important to you. Also, if the other side is not compromising at all, then you should react in the same manner.

Under WA law, it is a Community Property state, so you are entitled to 1/2 of all of the assets that were brought into existence in the course of the marriage. The military pension is a problem, since anything he receives for disability cannot be divided, but the portion he receives for loss of income or retirement income can and it requires an attorney who is familiar with military pensions to examine that to make a determination. You would also be likely entitled to some spousal support if you can prove a need, based on being a homemaker.

So, you would have 1/2 interest in the house, you would likely split the cars and either sell the 3rd or get 1/2 value of it if you give it to him. Spousal support is based on your actual needs and his income, so you need to determine what those needs realistically would be. You would also be entitled to 1/2 of any bank accounts or investment accounts.

The best potential outcome I cannot properly tell you because I really do not know enough about the whole situation and that has to be a decision you make and it would not be fair for me to even guess at it I am afraid.