I live in Portland Oregon and have a question about a stalking order or harassment order. My ex and I have a child, in which he has custody of, and my harasser is his current wife. This is situation has been on going happening for the last six years, soon after my ex remarried. I believe that I should only communicate with my ex and have repeatedly requested that I only communicate with him about parental matters. His wife seems to be very threatened by me and attempts to be the primary person for communication about my child, my ex is very submissive and his wife seems to "wear the pants in the relationship". She states her intention is only to communicate with me about my daughter, which would be fine, but the end result every time is enduring emotional and verbal abuse from her. She has called countless time, text, sent emails, and sends letters to give me her opinion of me only after information of my child is giving. She has attempted to confront me at work and has even gone as far as posting personal information of me on a website, I have no proof unless I email website and ask for ISP address. After countless attempts to ask to end all communication(asking for no contact, blocking her phone number, blocking text messages, and blocking emails) it still continues through mail and now the internet. I am unsure what to do at this point and feel hopeless. It seems this woman is so bothered that my ex and I have a child that she is obsessed with me and purposely harasses me in an attempt to hurt me. I believe her to be a stalker and possibly mentally ill and fear for my safety, my husband, and my small child whom live with me. To always wonder and be in fear of what is to come is no way to live and it has to stop. Do I have a good chance to petition for a stalking order?
Country relating to Question: United States
State (if USA): Oregon
Yes, this would be a restraining order. When you state that you are in fear of your safety, then you have grounds. You need to show an imminent risk of injury or harm. You state that you have that. That means you can get a restraining order. Texting, emails and the like, if they show threatening behaviour or are suspicious and odd are evidence of stalking and can support your claim.
Oregon has a pretty good on line form, plus instructions, on how to get a stalking order. Let me see if I can find it.
Here you go: http://www.ojd.state.or.us/Web/OJDPublications.nsf/Civil%20Stalking%20Protective%20Order?OpenView
You need to read this material and fill out the forms. I always advise bringing the forms to the court clerk to be sure you have filled them out properly and you get the papers served properly.
You can also use an attorney, who can fill out the forms for you.
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Also, make sure you have adequate grounds (risk of harm or safety) before you proceed.
I have read much info on stalking orders in Oregon and the only issue is there is nothing that is considered threatening behavior. The fact that despite asking for no contact and her continuing to the point of harassment, I consider very odd and extremely obsessive, which is extremely frightening to me. Also there is the post of me on internet, which I stated I have no proof unless I ask for ISP address. Is the possibility that if I can get a temporary stalking order, but can subpoena for ISP address in the discovery process to build my case of stalking?
You can try to get a temporary restraining order, but like you said, it would be a question of whether you were reasonable to fear for your safety or are just yourself trying to get back at her by humiliating her. If she is that persistent you may want to begin filing police reports for any outrageous behavior to document your case as well. Of course, within reason and depending on her further actions. For instance many people call the police in the case of repeated harassing phone calls. If you truly feel threatened I would go ahead and pursue the stalking order. The discovery process allows you to request any and all relevant information for your case. On a more practical level maybe you could speak to your ex about having her stop before things get too out of hand. Appeal to him in the sense that this is something that could be seen as him interfering with your child custody rights and not looked favorably upon by the courts. She doesn't need to be your primary point of contact regarding your own child, frankly I would not want to deal with her either. Good Luck and try talking to your ex first, if that is at all possible. Hopefully they wise up.
The subpoena would have to be issued by the court, which you can do, but it is a process. Based on what you are saying, you need more for a stalking order. If you feel that you are at imminent risk of harm, then use the materials I sent you to obtain a restraining order. You will have to say that you fear for you life and safety. That usually will do it.
Please write back to me if you need more.
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Your best bet is to swear out the affidavit on the RO application stating what is happening and that you fear for your life and safety. Your testimony at the hearing will be your best evidence. If you feel stronger going in with the subpoenaed records, then tell the court clerk you want to do a subpoena when you go to the court to file.
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Divorce, child custody, support, mediation, alimony
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