Hello, I'm looking for some advice on what to do. I want to file for divorce I just don't know how to go about doing it. I've been a stay at home mom of 3 for 6 years, I've been married for 13 years, my husband just retired from Law Enforcement after 26 years of service. He does collect a pention now. I know he knows the leagel system like the back of his hand, I just don't want to have the rug pulled out from under me, if you know what I'm saying.
State/Country relating to question: New Hampshire
Nothing really I'm afraid to do anything because I don't want to do something wrong. He would know what to do faster then I would.
You would start by filing a petition for dissolution of marriage. You, as the filing party, are the Petitioner and your husband is the Respondent. Under NH law a divorce may be for cause or no-fault.No-Fault: Irreconcilable differences which have caused the irremediable breakdown of the marriage. Fault: I. Impotency of either party. II. Adultery of either party. III. Extreme cruelty of either party to the other. IV. Conviction of either party, in any State or Federal District, of a crime punishable with imprisonment for more than one year and actual imprisonment under such conviction. V. When either party has so treated the other as seriously to injure health or endanger reason. VI. When either party has been absent 2 years together, and has not been heard of. VII. When either party is an habitual drunkard, and has been such for 2 years together. VIII. When either party has joined any religious sect or society which professes to believe the relation of husband and wife unlawful, and has refused to cohabit with the other for 6 months together. IX. When either party, without sufficient cause, and without the consent of the other, has abandoned and refused, for 2 years together, to cohabit with the other. (New Hampshire Statutes - Chapters: 458:7, 458:26)Since New Hampshire is an "Equitable Distribution" state, the marital property shall be divided in an equitable fashion. Equitable does not mean equal, but rather what is fair. The court will encourage the parties to reach a settlement on property and debt issues otherwise the court will declare the property award. When a dissolution of a marriage is decreed, the court may order an equitable division of property between the parties. The court shall presume that an equal division is an equitable Distribution of Property, unless the court decides that an equal division would not be appropriate or equitable after considering one or more of the following factors: (a) The duration of the marriage. (b) The age, health, social or economic status, occupation, vocational skills, employability, separate property, amount and sources of income, needs and liabilities of each party. (c) The opportunity of each party for future acquisition of capital assets and income. (d) The ability of the Custodial Parent, if any, to engage in gainful employment without substantially interfering with the interests of any minor children in the custody of said party. (e) The need of the custodial parent, if any, to occupy or own the marital residence and to use or own its household effects. (f) The actions of either party during the marriage which contributed to the growth or diminution in value of property owned by either or both of the parties. (g) Significant disparity between the parties in relation to contributions to the marriage, including contributions to the care and education of the children and the care and management of the home. (h) Any direct or indirect contribution made by one party to help educate or develop the career or employability of the other party and any interruption of either party's educational or personal career opportunities for the benefit of the other's career or for the benefit of the parties' marriage or children. (i) The expectation of pension or retirement rights acquired prior to or during the marriage. (j) The tax consequences for each party. (k) The value of property that is allocated by a valid prenuptial contract made in good faith by the parties. (l) The fault of either party a if said fault caused the breakdown of the marriage and: (m) The value of any property acquired prior to the marriage and property acquired in exchange for property acquired prior to the marriage. (n) The value of any property acquired by gift, devise, or descent. (o) Any other factor that the court deems relevant. (New Hampshire Statutes - Chapters: 458:16)
Then what happens, I want to be a few steps ahead of him. I don't know what if i should get a lawyer near by, I mean he knows everyone so I don't who to get or what to do about this without making a big deal in front of my girls
After you file then he will need to respond and, if you both have attorneys, the particular details of the property distribution, child and spousal support and custody and visitation are worked out.The vast majority of the cases settle between the parties and resolve with an agreed order being entered by the court.Since there are assets and children involved, it is strongly recommended that you get an attorney to represent you. You can look in a neighboring county for an attorney if you are concerned about the personal relationships your husband has with local attorneys.Though site rules prohibit JA professionals from referring specific attorneys or representing JA. Customers, the following link is an extremely flexible search engine often used by attorneys, themselves, when seeking co-counsel outside of their expertise or jurisdiction: http://www.martindale.com/Find-Lawyers-and-Law-Firms.aspx
Over 25 years of experience.
Hi, I had another question, if I were to get a job, would that hinder me in the long run? Or it won't effect anything
It could affect your spousal support as your ability to support yourself is a major element that is considered. It is usually best in these situations to avoid making any financial changes in your lifestyle.
That explains why he's pushing me to get one and manipulating me into thinking he's encouraging me, he's allegedly getting his resume finished for himself to get a couple of part time police jobs, but he's dragging his feet and that's probably why also, because he knows I'd be untitled?!
That would be a reasonable analysis of his actions. As I said, though, most people should avoid any major financial changes at this period. Obviously, you will want to run everything by your local counsel to get more detailed advice.
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