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Hello Mark, I can definitely assist you with this issue.
First, I am sorry to hear about your situation, but you have posed a very reasonable and relevant question that appears in my practice every day.
So you want to remain in the home, and you want her to leave, however, you have not filed?
Well I'm not sure I wanted her to leave I was actually trying to get her to go to some counseling but no matter now. Yes I want to stay in the home and part of my question is how secure is the home can I change the locks. I don't want her coming in here when I'm at work and just taking things.
Right, it is a sticky situation before you file. If you filed for divorce you could have what is known as a pendente lite hearing which means pending litigation. This is a temporary order issued by a judge that states who is to stay in the home etc.
As far as changing the locks, if she is still on the mortgage, and divorce has not been filed, she is legally able to be there.
If you expect to keep the home and pay the mortgage, usually in these circumstances, after filing for divorce the one staying in the home agrees to refinance the home and place it solely in their name and continue the payments on the mortgage. It is also common for the house to be appraised and the remaining spouse "buyout" the leaving spouse. Additionally, if no agreement can be made, you could sell the house and split the proceeds.
OK thats what I thougth. So the next step then is to get a lawyer and have the hearing. Is that what you suggest to keep things in order?
I would, and that hearing would also address items in the home.