Here's the horror story. I am a 63 year old woman with parents, ages 92 (mother
) and 95 (father.) They are still in their home, even though they need to be somewhere else, getting daily care. My mother has Alzheimers. My father has congestive heart failure and kidney disease, but his mind is mostly ok. My father was in the hospital 10 times in 2009, 2010 and up until March of 2011. He was in rehab four times, also. He is, surprisingly, doing well and has been this past year. He takes care of her and does the cooking. They have someone who comes in to clean every other week. I pay their bills, take them to doctor's appointments and hospitalizations.
The problem is my brother. He has lived with them for 25 years. He is a drug addict and a very sick individual. He has done nothing to help me with our parents. I have done everything for them while he drugs and spends their money. Even though he draws Disability from SS, he has never once contributed to the house hold in any way. Every one in our family hates him for what he has done to them.
Many times he has passed out from an overdose and they have had to call 911. He goes to the hospital and starts drugging as soon as he gets out. He has been in trouble with the police on numerous occasions. He keeps loaded guns in his room and the police conficated a machete from under his bed last year. He set his room on fire from passing out with a lit cigeratte and nearly burnt the house down. He has totalled their last four cars, last year driving up in a persons front yard and hitting a big tree head on. I had to go to court 2 summers ago to have him committed to the Psych ward at our county hospital. He thought he was fighting in Iraq, and he's never even been in the service. I could go on and on.
He takes my mother's sedatives so my dad hides them in his room. He charged 600.00 to her credit card and then called customer service and had the address changed so I wouldn't get the bills. I guess he throws them away as no one ever saw them. After 3 months the credit card company turned her account over to collections and they were calling me three times a day. All this is within the last month. He is 60. He is scary. I believe my dad is afraid of him. If my brother doesn't get his way, there is hell to pay.
He has manipulated my mother all of his life. Years ago he talked her into putting him as her Executer and POA on their trust. They didn't tell me at the time. When mother started showing signs of dementia I took her to Southwestern where they diagnosed her Alzheimers. This was about 6 years ago. We went and changed the POA's so I could pay their bills and the Medical POA's so I could help with the medical situations. Since then I have two letters from two different doctors regarding her incompetancy. She can't make a decision by herself about anything.
I heard yesterday that my brother had hired a lawyer to come to the house and he has her POA now. He only wants to get every penny that he can from her and be able to keep changing her doctors so he can get drugs for himself, through her. He did this for years. I found out when I started taking them to the visits that he was getting 150 Hydrocodone tablets from mother and 150 from my father every three weeks. Other medications too. I took her away from that doctor and stopped his supply there. He was getting pain meds from a "drug" doctor for himself. Same amount. I turned him in and they took his license.
It has taken me about 3 or 4 years to get to where I am with them and their care. Honestly, I am mentally, physically and emotionally exausted. I can't get them to kick him out and I've already turned him in to APS several times. When they would come out he would turn into the friendly, conniving, psychopath that he is and it always looks like I am making it all up. There are records at the hospitals and the police dept, if they would look.
This lawyer that did the POA has make me furious. He knows how my brother is as he has represented him several times, one when he was shooting a shotgun at the people across the street. Anyone who sat down with my mother for 1 minute could tell that she wasn't competent to sign any kind of papers. Could I turn him in? It just isn't ethical what my brother and the lawyer did. How can I turn this around and regain the POA without worrying about him doing this again? What about guardianship
Another thing my brother had open heart surgery about 7 years ago. The surgeon told me he wouldn't be living long as even with the surgery, his heart was only putting out about 35%. He hasn't been for a follow up, ever. He is totally irresponsible. He wants to get their home and what money they have so he can keep mooching off of them after they are dead. In the trust it says that if you are drawing government money, you cannot be a beneficiary. How can he be the Executor and not a beneficiary? Thanks for your help!