How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Dimitry K., Esq. Your Own Question

Dimitry K., Esq.
Dimitry K., Esq., Attorney
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 37042
Experience:  I provide family and divorce law advice to my clients in my firm.
Type Your Family Law Question Here...
Dimitry K., Esq. is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

Heres the horror story. I am a 63 year old woman with parents,

Resolved Question:

Here's the horror story. I am a 63 year old woman with parents, ages 92 (mother) and 95 (father.) They are still in their home, even though they need to be somewhere else, getting daily care. My mother has Alzheimers. My father has congestive heart failure and kidney disease, but his mind is mostly ok. My father was in the hospital 10 times in 2009, 2010 and up until March of 2011. He was in rehab four times, also. He is, surprisingly, doing well and has been this past year. He takes care of her and does the cooking. They have someone who comes in to clean every other week. I pay their bills, take them to doctor's appointments and hospitalizations.

The problem is my brother. He has lived with them for 25 years. He is a drug addict and a very sick individual. He has done nothing to help me with our parents. I have done everything for them while he drugs and spends their money. Even though he draws Disability from SS, he has never once contributed to the house hold in any way. Every one in our family hates him for what he has done to them.

Many times he has passed out from an overdose and they have had to call 911. He goes to the hospital and starts drugging as soon as he gets out. He has been in trouble with the police on numerous occasions. He keeps loaded guns in his room and the police conficated a machete from under his bed last year. He set his room on fire from passing out with a lit cigeratte and nearly burnt the house down. He has totalled their last four cars, last year driving up in a persons front yard and hitting a big tree head on. I had to go to court 2 summers ago to have him committed to the Psych ward at our county hospital. He thought he was fighting in Iraq, and he's never even been in the service. I could go on and on.

He takes my mother's sedatives so my dad hides them in his room. He charged 600.00 to her credit card and then called customer service and had the address changed so I wouldn't get the bills. I guess he throws them away as no one ever saw them. After 3 months the credit card company turned her account over to collections and they were calling me three times a day. All this is within the last month. He is 60. He is scary. I believe my dad is afraid of him. If my brother doesn't get his way, there is hell to pay.

He has manipulated my mother all of his life. Years ago he talked her into putting him as her Executer and POA on their trust. They didn't tell me at the time. When mother started showing signs of dementia I took her to Southwestern where they diagnosed her Alzheimers. This was about 6 years ago. We went and changed the POA's so I could pay their bills and the Medical POA's so I could help with the medical situations. Since then I have two letters from two different doctors regarding her incompetancy. She can't make a decision by herself about anything.

I heard yesterday that my brother had hired a lawyer to come to the house and he has her POA now. He only wants to get every penny that he can from her and be able to keep changing her doctors so he can get drugs for himself, through her. He did this for years. I found out when I started taking them to the visits that he was getting 150 Hydrocodone tablets from mother and 150 from my father every three weeks. Other medications too. I took her away from that doctor and stopped his supply there. He was getting pain meds from a "drug" doctor for himself. Same amount. I turned him in and they took his license.

It has taken me about 3 or 4 years to get to where I am with them and their care. Honestly, I am mentally, physically and emotionally exausted. I can't get them to kick him out and I've already turned him in to APS several times. When they would come out he would turn into the friendly, conniving, psychopath that he is and it always looks like I am making it all up. There are records at the hospitals and the police dept, if they would look.

This lawyer that did the POA has make me furious. He knows how my brother is as he has represented him several times, one when he was shooting a shotgun at the people across the street. Anyone who sat down with my mother for 1 minute could tell that she wasn't competent to sign any kind of papers. Could I turn him in? It just isn't ethical what my brother and the lawyer did. How can I turn this around and regain the POA without worrying about him doing this again? What about guardianship?

Another thing my brother had open heart surgery about 7 years ago. The surgeon told me he wouldn't be living long as even with the surgery, his heart was only putting out about 35%. He hasn't been for a follow up, ever. He is totally irresponsible. He wants to get their home and what money they have so he can keep mooching off of them after they are dead. In the trust it says that if you are drawing government money, you cannot be a beneficiary. How can he be the Executor and not a beneficiary? Thanks for your help!
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Dimitry K., Esq. replied 2 years ago.
Thank you for your question.

If I may ask, was the POA signed in front of your brother's attorney, or was it signed elsewhere? Was your POA revoked at the same time?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I am assuming that it was signed in front of the attorney as my dad told me that he came to the house to have them sign the papers. I don't know if mine was revoked or not. It's hard for me to get much information.
Expert:  Dimitry K., Esq. replied 2 years ago.
Thank you for your follow-up. I will respond to each of your questions that you posed in order so as to ensure I do not miss any of your concerns. In terms of the POA itself, it may have had a clause voiding out all past POAs that were put in place by that person (meaning your mother) so if you can obtain a copy of the POA you would know right away if you are still able to make decisions on your mother's behalf.

This lawyer that did the POA has make me furious. He knows how my brother is as he has represented him several times, one when he was shooting a shotgun at the people across the street. Anyone who sat down with my mother for 1 minute could tell that she wasn't competent to sign any kind of papers. Could I turn him in?
You can contact the county bar association and file an ethics complaint against the attorney. Since you are not his client it might not be taken as seriously by the county, but if you point out that you are doing it as real POA holder of an Alzheimers patient, the disciplinary board may take it far more seriously in that instance.

It just isn't ethical what my brother and the lawyer did. How can I turn this around and regain the POA without worrying about him doing this again?
Contact the bar association and then contact Texas Protective Services and insist they take your complaints seriously.

What about guardianship?
You would need at least 2 independent doctors to testify as to her incompetence, and if his POA is upheld as valid, he can try to contest your petition. It is a valid option, however.

Another thing my brother had open heart surgery about 7 years ago. The surgeon told me he wouldn't be living long as even with the surgery, his heart was only putting out about 35%. He hasn't been for a follow up, ever. He is totally irresponsible. He wants to get their home and what money they have so he can keep mooching off of them after they are dead. In the trust it says that if you are drawing government money, you cannot be a beneficiary. How can he be the Executor and not a beneficiary? Thanks for your help!
You can very directly contest it once and if your parents pass away, and file for executorship of the trust on grounds of lack of validity and breach of fiduciary duty on part of your brother.

Good luck.
Dimitry K., Esq., Attorney
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 37042
Experience: I provide family and divorce law advice to my clients in my firm.
Dimitry K., Esq. and 7 other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Another question - What do you think about me calling the lawyer and just asking him if I have been revoked. If I tell him that I am filing an ethics complaint against him, could he do anything about it or is it too late? This happened a couple of weeks ago.

 

Legally, if the lawyer knows my mother has Alzheimers, is he supposed to change anything? I thought not.

Expert:  Dimitry K., Esq. replied 2 years ago.
Thank you for your follow-up.

You can call the attorney but he does not have to respond to your concerns, and can instead claim that you threatened him with disclosure of privileged information that he is not permitted to provide you unless his client so consents. I am not sure why you'd want to tell him if you will pursue a complaint, that may only give him additional time to prepare a defense, or otherwise bolster his claims.

Legally if someone is incompetent they cannot change the contract BUT the issue is that the courts treat ALL parties as competent unless their rights were taken away. It also means that if at the time she signed, that specific period of time, she was aware of what she was signing, it is a legitimate contract and a legitimate POA. Your mother can still contract if at the time she is aware of what she is doing. That is up to you to prove that she wasn't competent because if his attorney can show that at the time she knew what she was doing, there is no ethical violation here.

Good luck.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

I know I won't get any answers from my brother. I guess I just feel like yelling at someone today. Sorry, I won't do that, but I will file a claim. I have the letters and I know my brother was telling her to sign. She wouldn't know what was going on.

 

Thank you for your info. I appreciate your help. By the way, my father was born and raised in Palmyra, NJ. Beautiful state.

Expert:  Dimitry K., Esq. replied 2 years ago.
Thank you for your follow-up.

It is never a good idea to shout at an attorney--it gives them notice you may have grounds against them, and then even a marginally ethical attorney can go all out to protect his hide (not worth it). Please understand that I am trying to evaluate this situation based on your facts and how a third party will see it, and that is why I am pointing out likely flaws.

You are most welcome and good luck to you. If you found my information to be useful, please do not forget to press the green 'accept' button. Thank you!

Sincerely,

Dimitry, Esq.

PS. New Jersey absolutely has some very beautiful places, but after moving back to Pennsylvania, I do not regret it--the mountains and the clear land on the other side of the river is something I fell in love with. Take care!

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Not only did he answer my Michigan divorce question but was also able to help me out with it, too. I have since won my legal case on this matter and thank you so much for it. Lee Michigan
< Last | Next >
  • Not only did he answer my Michigan divorce question but was also able to help me out with it, too. I have since won my legal case on this matter and thank you so much for it. Lee Michigan
  • Mr. Kaplun clearly had an exceptional understanding of the issue and was able to explain it concisely. I would recommend JustAnswer to anyone. Great service that lives up to its promises! Gary B. Edmond, OK
  • My Expert was fast and seemed to have the answer to my taser question at the tips of her fingers. Communication was excellent. I left feeling confident in her answer. Eric Redwood City, CA
  • I am very pleased with JustAnswer as a place to go for divorce or criminal law knowledge and insight. Michael Wichita, KS
  • PaulMJD helped me with questions I had regarding an urgent legal matter. His answers were excellent. Three H. Houston, TX
  • Anne was extremely helpful. Her information put me in the right direction for action that kept me legal, possible saving me a ton of money in the future. Thank you again, Anne!! Elaine Atlanta, GA
  • It worked great. I had the facts and I presented them to my ex-landlord and she folded and returned my deposit. The 50 bucks I spent with you solved my problem. Tony Apopka, FL
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Ely

    Counselor at Law

    Satisfied Customers:

    8085
    Private practice with focus on family, criminal, PI, consumer protection, and business consultation.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RA/ratioscripta/2012-6-13_2955_foto3.64x64.jpg Ely's Avatar

    Ely

    Counselor at Law

    Satisfied Customers:

    8085
    Private practice with focus on family, criminal, PI, consumer protection, and business consultation.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/LA/LawTalk/2012-6-6_17379_LawTalk.64x64.JPG LawTalk's Avatar

    LawTalk

    Attorney and Counselor at Law

    Satisfied Customers:

    6424
    27+ years legal experience. I remain current in Family Law through regular continuing education.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/FL/FLAandNYLawyer/2012-1-27_14349_3Fotolia25855429M.64x64.jpg FiveStarLaw's Avatar

    FiveStarLaw

    Lawyer

    Satisfied Customers:

    6336
    25 years of experience helping people like you.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/dkaplun/2009-05-17_173121_headshot_1_2.jpg Dimitry K., Esq.'s Avatar

    Dimitry K., Esq.

    Attorney

    Satisfied Customers:

    5987
    I provide family and divorce law advice to my clients in my firm.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/MU/multistatelaw/2011-11-27_173951_Tinaglamourshotworkglow102011.64x64.jpg Tina's Avatar

    Tina

    Lawyer

    Satisfied Customers:

    5773
    JD, 15 years legal experience including family law
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/BrianTMayer/2010-01-06_200119_BM.jpg Brandon M.'s Avatar

    Brandon M.

    Family Law Attorney

    Satisfied Customers:

    3810
    Attorney experienced in all aspects of family law
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/TU/TUSA/2012-6-6_55219_test.64x64.png Thoreau (T-USA)'s Avatar

    Thoreau (T-USA)

    Lawyer

    Satisfied Customers:

    2634
    Attorney