How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask AlexiaEsq. Your Own Question

AlexiaEsq., Managing Attorney
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 12805
Experience:  19+ Years of Legal Practice in Family law matters.
Type Your Family Law Question Here...
AlexiaEsq. is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

I have been divorced since 1984. I was a victim of domestic

Customer Question

I have been divorced since 1984. I was a victim of domestic violence: alcoholism, emotional abuse, sometimes physical, extreme jealousy/obsession, control, and contiued threats for going to Alanon. When I filed for divorce, I was extremely afraid of what he would do to me and our two kids. While we were selling our house (I still don't know if my ex withheld money from the sale & its second mortgage with the buyers), my son (age 8 at the time), told me his father was showing him his gun (from his days in the SF police force). I knew in my gut that his gun was meant to kill our kids & me (and probably himself). Even after the divorce, he controlled me through our kids, stalked me, manipulated my family & friends against me (had sex with some of them), & never remarried. I just remarried two years ago to a wonderful man (I had been against marriage-as you can imagine). My ex has now permanently turned my kids against me (through jealousy) and I no longer see them or my two grandkids. I am more furious against him now then ever!

My question is this: We used a paralegal in Santa Clara county (we didn't have the money for a lawyer. I never asked for alimony or retirement (but now I want it) because I was afraid (and mistaken) he would think he still "owned" me. Looking back, I should have hired a lawyer anyway to protect my interests and provide counsel for me that was badly needed in my situation at the time. It has taken me a lifetime to feel my own power and honor myself. In light of the terrible situation now with my grown children, I want what's owed to me. Is there a lawyer who can help me? My email is holstonnj@gmail. com and phone XXX-XXX-XXXX

Thank you for your time!
Nancy JH
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  AlexiaEsq. replied 4 years ago.
*Due to rules of your state bar or mine, nothing herein is intended as legal advice, only intended as general information to better help yourself.

Hi, what is your question, exactly, with regard to these unfortunate events? Are you asking if you can reverse your divorce decree and now ask for alimony or a different distribution of the marital assets? If so, how long ago was your divorcew?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
My divorce was in 1984. I do not know what is the best course for me. This is why I am writing to you for suggestions.
Expert:  AlexiaEsq. replied 4 years ago.
Unfortunately, the time for appealing that order has long ago expired. The courts typically can not re-open a case based on remorse later. That is because this was a final Order. Now, if you could show that the divorce decree was not legal somehow, or that your ex is in contempt of some part of the Order for distribution, if any, that could perhaps give reason to re-open, but thus far I see nothing to suggest that. In a remote situation, however, if you agreed to the agreement to take nothing you were entitled to BECAUSE, say, you were under duress or threatened or coerced, in theory, you may be able to argue that the agreement was voidable or void, and that the case should be re-opened. But proving this can be very, very difficult, particularly after so many years. The fact that you were self-representing would help support the contention, however, that you lacked the requisite consent to this agreement - particularly if HE had an attorney. The biggest suggestion I can make is that you would want to consider taking ALL of the pertinent divorce paperwork and any documentary proof you have of hte abuse, fear, threats, etc., to an astute divorce attorney in your jurisdiction, so he can review all and see if the matter could be re-opened, based on the agreement never having been valid from the beginning.

I hope this helps clarify for you.

Because I help people like you here, for a living---this is not a hobby for me---I sincerely appreciate your abiding by the honor system with regard to Accepting answers, by Clicking your ACCEPT button now. Feel free to follow up after, if you need clarification. An ACCEPT also assures that I can assist you again. A BONUS is a wonderful way to tell the expert her time and effort are appreciated. I wish you the best in your future.

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

  • Not only did he answer my Michigan divorce question but was also able to help me out with it, too. I have since won my legal case on this matter and thank you so much for it. Lee Michigan
< Previous | Next >
  • Not only did he answer my Michigan divorce question but was also able to help me out with it, too. I have since won my legal case on this matter and thank you so much for it. Lee Michigan
  • Mr. Kaplun clearly had an exceptional understanding of the issue and was able to explain it concisely. I would recommend JustAnswer to anyone. Great service that lives up to its promises! Gary B. Edmond, OK
  • My Expert was fast and seemed to have the answer to my taser question at the tips of her fingers. Communication was excellent. I left feeling confident in her answer. Eric Redwood City, CA
  • I am very pleased with JustAnswer as a place to go for divorce or criminal law knowledge and insight. Michael Wichita, KS
  • PaulMJD helped me with questions I had regarding an urgent legal matter. His answers were excellent. Three H. Houston, TX
  • Anne was extremely helpful. Her information put me in the right direction for action that kept me legal, possible saving me a ton of money in the future. Thank you again, Anne!! Elaine Atlanta, GA
  • It worked great. I had the facts and I presented them to my ex-landlord and she folded and returned my deposit. The 50 bucks I spent with you solved my problem. Tony Apopka, FL

Meet The Experts:

  • Ely


    Counselor at Law

    Satisfied Customers:

    Private practice with focus on family, criminal, PI, consumer protection, and business consultation.
< Last | Next >
  • Ely's Avatar


    Counselor at Law

    Satisfied Customers:

    Private practice with focus on family, criminal, PI, consumer protection, and business consultation.
  • Dimitry K., Esq.'s Avatar

    Dimitry K., Esq.


    Satisfied Customers:

    I provide family and divorce law advice to my clients in my firm.
  • LawTalk's Avatar


    Attorney and Counselor at Law

    Satisfied Customers:

    30 years legal experience. I remain current in Family Law through regular continuing education.
  • Tina's Avatar



    Satisfied Customers:

    JD, 17 years legal experience including family law
  • Brandon M.'s Avatar

    Brandon M.

    Family Law Attorney

    Satisfied Customers:

    Attorney experienced in all aspects of family law
  • Barrister's Avatar



    Satisfied Customers:

    Attorney with 15 years experience
  • AttorneyTom's Avatar



    Satisfied Customers: