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JerrySJD
JerrySJD, Attorney
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 821
Experience:  Divorce, child custody, support, mediation, alimony
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Got a girl pregnant a month into our relationship and then

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Got a girl pregnant a month into our relationship and then shortly cut it off after her not ever spending any time with me, however was still willing to be there for her needs as well as the child's. She is now currently three months pregnant. Now that we have split, every time I ask her how the her and the baby is doing via text (I'm locking all texts into my phone) she either never responds or tells me not to worry about her child and that she hates me etc. She has no source of income, no means of transportation, and the people that would be taking care of her (her adopted parents) smoke weed all the time and I really don't want my child around that. I'm a police officer and I know that I should have a general knowledge of this, however I'm only 21 and only deal with mostly criminal aspects of the law. I also do not want to be put on child support due to the fact that she would be doing it out of pure spite because I am willing to be there to provide for the child and help raise it. What I'm getting at is, with the circumstances at hand and the fact of myself saving all of our texts showing that I'm trying to be there and also going to all of her doctors appointments; would there be any chance what-so-ever of me gaining sole custody of the child if it is even mine and avoiding child support? Child support is a wonderful tool for dead beats that do not want anything to do with their child or do not want to provide finances to the child, not a tool for spite. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks.

JerrySJD :

You will have parental rights. Getting sole custody is very difficult. Courts usually order joint custody with primary residential custody with the mother. That means you get decisionmaking authority (with her) and visitation, including some vacations. The exception to this is if she is abusive, alcoholic, drug addicted or has some other problems that makes her an unfit mother. An inappropriate home environment is another reason. However, you will need hard evidence, such as an arrest or a restraining order to really prove your case.

Customer:

Oh alright got ya. Now the deal far as child support... If I was willing to be there as far as finances for the child before hand she could still hit me with it correct?

JerrySJD :

Yes. That may explain her actions. It would be best if you could get together, but that may not be possible. You have to be VERY careful, as you know. No matter what she does, stay calm. You do not want any trouble that will come back and hurt you when you seek joint custody. Child support will be computed based on your income and her income, no matter what happened before.

Customer:

Wow. I reckon if you want to get screwed go to the courthouse, if you want justice go to the whorehouse. Thanks for your help sir.

JerrySJD :

The bright side is that you may soon have a child. This is a blessing by any measure. Child support is a pain, but you will pay either way. The best result is to reconcile with her, but that may not be possible. In a way, you are better off. You have your freedom.

JerrySJD :

She needs you.

JerrySJD :

No matter what she says or does, try to be nice. Hormones are making her crazy. Try to ignore it.

Customer:

Yeah you do have a valid point. And far as the relationship goes, when she won't even let me know how my child is doing, telling me that I'm worthless, etc. It gets old. Not to mention the fact that she is advertising on Facebook for someone to be with her.

Customer:

You know when I'm out her busting my ass for hardly no pay and risking my life everyday I come on duty and what little I do make she is just gonna get it free. I guess I'm just young and it is getting to me. Argh.

JerrySJD :

You are not worthless, so she is wrong. She may have psychological issues since she is adopted (abondonment issues). Just keep being nice and ignore her behavior as best you can.

JerrySJD :

If you have low pay, your child support obligation will be lower.

JerrySJD :

Once she calms down, can you try and get back with her? This is a volatile situation, so you have to be careful. The last thing you need is a restraining order. That will effect visitation and custody. Try to be nice and supportive, ignoring her foolishness. She might come around.

JerrySJD :

Hope this helps you. If you need more, let me know. Otherwise, please click "Accept". You are doing great. Stay calm, be nice and hang in there.

JerrySJD :

Bonuses are always appreciated!

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