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Thank you for the explanation. He is not allowed to tack the 1997real estate transaction that was settled prior to your divorce to your alimony. If the transaction was not part of your 2002 marital settlement agreement, that's too bad for him. However, he is not entitled to go back and try to unilaterally undo your settlement. You may file contempt action against him for non-payment of alimony--you really should. He cannot decide on his own to stop paying alimony and get away with it. However, he may counterclaim for your 50% share of the mortgage and the utilities. You would respond that the reason you were not able to pay was because he did not pay what he was supposed to pay you in the first pace. So, you did not have any money to contribute. As for the child support his obligation ends when the children reached age of majority unless the divorce decree has different termination dates. See New York Domestic Relations Laws Article 13 Sections 240 to 244.
You can obtain contempt forms at the Courthouse in the Clerk’s office or you can down the forms online under “Self-Represented Forms.”