I'm sorry to hear of your dilemma.
You are right to be concerned. I presume that you are on the title to the property just as is your husband. Your written permission is needed to even list the property for sale with a Realtor, and without your signature, he can not sell the property.
As you are no longer in the country and cannot oversee the work being done, I would strongly suggest that you consider something a bit different, and that is for you to hire your own Realtor to specifically look after your best interests, separate and apart from your husband's Realtor. It would likely increase the Realtor fees, but you would be assured that you are not being taken advantage of, and could save you many thousands of dollars in the meantime. Additionally, as the cost of a Realtor is taken out of the sale before the distribution to the sellers at escrow, your husband would in effect be paying half of your Realtor's fees anyway.
As it stands now, you can not prevent him from spending money to repair the property. However, he does not have the ability to encumber the property with the loans he is getting, and you have no personal liability for the debts he is incurring.
It would be a good idea for your attorney to put him on notice that every penny will have to be accounted for if he intends to claim some sort of offset from the distribution of the sale proceeds to reimburse repair expenses.
The money that you gave him to pay the mortgage, but which he spent on other things will be rather problematic, because you are still married and technically, even though you are out of the country, the marital income will generally not be subject to recoupment in a divorce---or in this matter on the sale of the property. However
, it is something that you may get some leverage out of when it comes time to divvy up the proceeds of sale.
I wish you the best in 2011.
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