Thanks for your question.
My answer to whether this living arrangement would be a good idea depends in part on the relationship you have with your husband. If the two of you can agree to work together to ensure that the children have an environment that is as stable as possible despite the fact that all of you will not be living together as a family, it might be a do-able situation. But, if you and your husband are constantly bickering, especially about the kids (e.g., who will live where, how much time they will spend with each of you, etc., etc.), then I don't think an arrangement like this, where the kids are living in different places and going back and forth, would be a good idea.
Another concern is how the kids feel about this type of living arrangement. The separation or divorce of their parents is always an adjustment for kids, particularly if, as I mentioned earlier, they are moved around from one parent's residence to the other. If there is a short distance between your home and your husband's home, it might not be so disruptive as if you were to live in different towns or states.
Keep in mind that if either you or your husband later decides to file for divorce, the judge will consider the children's living arrangements since the time that you and he separated. If two kids continually live with him, and the other two continually live with you, the judge could end up making that a permanent arrangement (subject to modification at a later date, of course, but a custody modification is not without its own set of hassles).
Again, if everyone -- including the kids, if they are old enough to voice their preferences to the judge at a later date, if necessary in a divorce proceeding-- is agreeable to this type of arrangement, things will probably work out okay in the long run. The best indicator is how well you and your husband get along, and how capable you both are of making this work.
Hope this provides you with some insight. Good luck.
It sounds as though you want to have a legal separation, however, Texas law has no provision for a legal separation. Therefore, if you and your husband draw up a contract regarding the children, it would not be legally enforceable in family court if either of you were to violate it. It would simply be a "written understanding" or "putting your thoughts on paper," or something of that nature between the two of you. A lawyer is usually the best person to write up an agreement. But, if you foresee a divorce at any point in your future, you might consider going ahead and filing a petition for that now, since the family court judge can issue temporary orders regarding support, custody, etc. that will actually have "teeth" if there would happen to be a violation.
Truthfully, yes -- the party who moves out of the marital residence is usually viewed as the deserter, so to speak, at least in terms of disrupting the children's home life and stability. Family law, to a very strong degree, favors stabliity when it comes to children and separating/divorcing parents. Judges want to try to keep things as "normal" as possible for the children.
I am a horrible housekeeper can he use this to have me considered unfit?
ok, thank you for EVERYTHING My husband and I (I let him read all of this) are going to go talk to a lawyer on Tuesday and get things rolling. I do not like having to split the children up but I am only going to be 20 minutes away and I think by doing it this way it will much less difficult on the children.
Is there anything in particular that I need to make sure is in this petition to where I do not look bad for leaving the home. ( I am leaving the home because I can get a job in town and it will be cheaper than where we are now.)
Perhaps you could put something like "by mutual decision, wife will move from the marital residence to X city, which will enable her to have more opportunities for employment," or something to that effect. But, I suggest that when you consult with a lawyer on Tuesday, you should also ask him/her about this.
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