How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Attorney Wayne Your Own Question

Attorney Wayne
Attorney Wayne, Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 1506
Experience:  Practicing Law Since 2000
23192590
Type Your Family Law Question Here...
Attorney Wayne is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

Hello, My ex boyfriend and I both had private attorneys

Resolved Question:

Hello,

My ex boyfriend and I both had private attorneys and I got a rest order against him civally for hitting me and being abusive, and he got one against me right after he was served,and he got one against me for having called his phone and text him so much in a day. we both were granted our resttraining orders for 1 year and they both expired in june 2008.

Well, I started speaking to him about 8 months ago, and we have been on/off. But he started hitting me again and went to jail 3xs in a matter of 2 months for domestic violence. There is now a mandatory criminal " peaceful contact" order which the judge has issued against him, and he is on probation for next 3 yrs.

My problem is that I did text and call him repeatedly for several weeks,several times a day,maybe 40xs a day,but that all stopped as of 2 weeks ago. I have only text him one time in the last 2 weeks, and I should note, NONE OF MY TEXTS OR VOICEMAILS WERE EVER THREATENING TO HIM, THEY WERE ONLY ME EITHER CALLING HIM AN ASSHOLE LIAR,OR ME CRYING ON THE PHONE ABOUT HOW MUCH HE HAS HURT ME. WELL, now I guess someone has slashed 4 tires on his car, and he is blaming me, even though It really wasnt me,I am pretty sure its his ex girlfreind who has caught him cheating, but he is saying he going to get a restraining order against me


So my questions are:

1) is he likely to be granted a rest order even though it has been 2 weeks and I stopped calling and texting?

2)if he does get granted a rest order, will this show up in a background check when I go to apply for jobs? (its a civil rest order, not criminal,but will it show up?

3) what is my best course of action at this point?
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Attorney Wayne replied 3 years ago.
Hello. Thanks for contacting us.

Wow. I truly feel your pain on this one. This kind of crazy love surely makes for great Hollywood movies, but is horrible to actually live through.

It is hard to evaluate on a publicly accessible legal information website the chance of getting a restraining order -- as such evaluations require a review of all facts, circumstances and documents. This can only be done confidentially by one's own lawyer acting under the protection of attorney client privilege.

That said, I can provide information of a more general sort here.

(1) Restraining orders can be either temporary or long term. Temporary ones can be issued quickly and on less evidence than longer term ones. A history of restraining orders can tilt a court toward issuing one anew. Also, when there is a pattern, a short break in the pattern may not matter. Its all in the packaging of the thing at court.

(2) As a restraining order is a public record, it may or may not show up in a background check. It really depends on the database used. If a potential employer only does a criminal check, then only crimes and, sometimes, arrests, will appear. But if someone does a more thorough check of public records, then its possible that it will show up.

(3) I'll break this down into subparts. But please understand that this information must, by the nature of the forum, be more general than specific to your case. As I said before, the best strategy can only arise in a confidential setting, protected by attorney client privilege, when discussing with one's own lawyer. This is not possible on a publicly accessible legal information service.

-- It may be possible to have one's own lawyer negotiate a voluntary agreement, in lieu of a restraining order, with the other side's lawyer that would essentially do the same thing as a restraining order without going to court. This would be treated like a contract and could be enforced in court should anyone violate the agreement. This would avoid the public record a restraining order would create.

-- Its possible to contest the requested order at court. Again, this is a legal matter that one's own lawyer is best placed to handle. Courts don't really like getting into the middle of a lover's spat. They recognize that passions involving love can sometimes escalate. Restraining orders are designed to keep the public peace and protect people from harm. They are not offensive weapons in crazy love. However, this argument must be carefully cast -- again best made by one's own lawyer.

-- As a non-legal matter, I am sure you've heard this from friends or family. It may be a good idea to get individual therapy or counseling. Crazy love can be so passionate that its intoxicating. But in quieter moments, like now, you can see how it can blind one to reality. A good therapist can do a lot more than the blunt instrument of restraining orders and police calls. Its better to fix the root causes than to simply put legal band aids on symptoms. The band aids fall off (as you yourself describe getting back together after violence).

If you are unable to afford your own lawyer, please let me know where in California you are located and I can provide information about free or reduced rate legal services that could be available to assist you on a confidential one-on-one basis.

I wish you speedy resolution of both the legal and interpersonal issues here.
Attorney Wayne, Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 1506
Experience: Practicing Law Since 2000
Attorney Wayne and 11 other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Not only did he answer my Michigan divorce question but was also able to help me out with it, too. I have since won my legal case on this matter and thank you so much for it. Lee Michigan
< Last | Next >
  • Not only did he answer my Michigan divorce question but was also able to help me out with it, too. I have since won my legal case on this matter and thank you so much for it. Lee Michigan
  • Mr. Kaplun clearly had an exceptional understanding of the issue and was able to explain it concisely. I would recommend JustAnswer to anyone. Great service that lives up to its promises! Gary B. Edmond, OK
  • My Expert was fast and seemed to have the answer to my taser question at the tips of her fingers. Communication was excellent. I left feeling confident in her answer. Eric Redwood City, CA
  • I am very pleased with JustAnswer as a place to go for divorce or criminal law knowledge and insight. Michael Wichita, KS
  • PaulMJD helped me with questions I had regarding an urgent legal matter. His answers were excellent. Three H. Houston, TX
  • Anne was extremely helpful. Her information put me in the right direction for action that kept me legal, possible saving me a ton of money in the future. Thank you again, Anne!! Elaine Atlanta, GA
  • It worked great. I had the facts and I presented them to my ex-landlord and she folded and returned my deposit. The 50 bucks I spent with you solved my problem. Tony Apopka, FL
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Ely

    Counselor at Law

    Satisfied Customers:

    8085
    Private practice with focus on family, criminal, PI, consumer protection, and business consultation.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RA/ratioscripta/2012-6-13_2955_foto3.64x64.jpg Ely's Avatar

    Ely

    Counselor at Law

    Satisfied Customers:

    8085
    Private practice with focus on family, criminal, PI, consumer protection, and business consultation.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/LA/LawTalk/2012-6-6_17379_LawTalk.64x64.JPG LawTalk's Avatar

    LawTalk

    Attorney and Counselor at Law

    Satisfied Customers:

    6424
    27+ years legal experience. I remain current in Family Law through regular continuing education.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/FL/FLAandNYLawyer/2012-1-27_14349_3Fotolia25855429M.64x64.jpg FiveStarLaw's Avatar

    FiveStarLaw

    Lawyer

    Satisfied Customers:

    6336
    25 years of experience helping people like you.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/dkaplun/2009-05-17_173121_headshot_1_2.jpg Dimitry K., Esq.'s Avatar

    Dimitry K., Esq.

    Attorney

    Satisfied Customers:

    5987
    I provide family and divorce law advice to my clients in my firm.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/MU/multistatelaw/2011-11-27_173951_Tinaglamourshotworkglow102011.64x64.jpg Tina's Avatar

    Tina

    Lawyer

    Satisfied Customers:

    5773
    JD, 15 years legal experience including family law
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/BrianTMayer/2010-01-06_200119_BM.jpg Brandon M.'s Avatar

    Brandon M.

    Family Law Attorney

    Satisfied Customers:

    3810
    Attorney experienced in all aspects of family law
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/TU/TUSA/2012-6-6_55219_test.64x64.png Thoreau (T-USA)'s Avatar

    Thoreau (T-USA)

    Lawyer

    Satisfied Customers:

    2634
    Attorney
 
 
 

Related Family Law Questions