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Ellen, Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 36714
Experience:  25 years of experience helping people like you.
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i was contacted and told that my son had fathered a child with

Customer Question

i was contacted and told that my son had fathered a child with this girl. my son way away in afghanistan and when he came home we went to see the child and automatically assumed taking financial responsibility for the child. without a paternity test because there was the possibility that the child might be his. he had unprotected sex with this girl. shortly after the child was placed in my home because the mother was a school dropout and her mother was and is currently abusing drugs. the young mother thought it best to leave the child within my care. i was willing considering i was the potential grandparent. the young mother continually gets in trouble, fighting. while waiting to get the paternity test. i offered her a chance to a better life by placing her in my home also. i got her enrolled in a community college to get her GED. this did not work because she would still not go to school. she does not help with the raising of the infant emotionally or physically or financially. it came to the point that i asked her to sign guardianship of the infant over to me. she hates her immediate family and does not want any of therm to raise the infant. she parties all the time. she had had stds and will not take the medicine prescribed. and to make matters worse she is now pregnant again at the age of 18. she has no financially means of supporting herself, her mother is always in between homes because of rent issues or lights not on issues. the other minor child was not going to school properly and dss was involved because of the child absentism. they know the child is in my home and does nothing to help support the child. the child is going on 14 months old and i have had the child within my home since she was four months old. so the bond is there. i have been her sole provider. now the paternity tests are in and it says the child is not my grandchild. the devastation is great. the mother says that the paper is wrong but because she was and is very promiscuious. she does not know who the father is and asked if i would still keep the child and that she would sign custody over to me. but how can i do this with very limited cash flow is there a lawyer that can get me custody of this child with a payment arrangement. my legal obligations were terminated once i found out that this was not my son's child. but the bond is there now between me and this child and i fear for her safety. the household she would be going into may not be there tomorrow and right now it is cluttered with bed mattresses leaning against walls, cluttered floors, clothes in floors and on furniture, sink full of dishes, unmade beds and broken windows that have been filled with rags. marijuana seeds lying around in kitchen. help me keep this child. i do not want to see her in foster care and the mother is willing to give me custody but there is a money issue and this infant needs to remain in my home
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Ellen replied 5 years ago.

I am an attorney with 25+ years of legal experience and am working diligently on your answer while I await your response.

Please tell me:
Was the paternity test done through the court?

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
through the department of social services here in raeford, nc
Expert:  Ellen replied 5 years ago.

So sorry to hear of your dilemma. I will strive to provide you with legal information to assist you. If my answer is not clear to you, I encourage you to ask me for clarification by using the reply button.

You have a choice of 2 methods. You can either adopt the child or the father and the mother can sign an affidavit of parentage establishing your son as the legal father. Here the forms that you will require

DSS-1800-ia Petition for Adoption of a Minor Child

dss-1802sp Consent to Adoption by Parent, Guardian Ad Litem, or Guardian

If the links do not work, you may find the forms at this site:

To establish your son as the legal father:
Affidavit of Parentage:

Please let me know if you have any questions concerning my answer.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
wait my son has signed off on the deal. he does not want to raise this child only to find out that later in life any man could come and take the child from him. this girl has no idea who the father is and i am the only one raising this child and want the custody
Expert:  Ellen replied 5 years ago.

You can adopt the child using the forms that I have provided

DSS-1800-ia Petition for Adoption of a Minor Child

dss-1802sp Consent to Adoption by Parent, Guardian Ad Litem, or Guardian

If the links do not work, you may find the forms at this site:

Thank you in advance for remembering to click accept. If you experience difficulty using the accept button, please let me know as JustAnswer pays me for my time only if the "accept" registers.

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