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You can file a motion for modification of custody and the judge will make the decision based on the "best interest of the child." Your 11 year old daughter may be allowed to speak to the judge but will not have the final say in the custody decision. The therapist will likely hold a lot of weight in the judge's decision. Denying him visitation when you have previously agreed to visitation without asking the judge for a change will work against you in the judge's decision. A judge will not like the fact that you have unilaterally altered custody without getting court approval.
As far as spousal support and child support if you have an agreement where he is supposed to pay. Both supports are separate from custody and viewed by the court as separate. Your failure to allow visitation does not excuse him from paying either support payment. You can ask him to be held in contempt if your agreement is part if a court order or sue him from breach of contract if your support agreement is in a separate contract. Child support enforcement can help you with the child support.
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