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Lucy, Esq.
Lucy, Esq., Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 29291
Experience:  Attorney with experience in family law.
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hi Lucy, I just received a letter from my ex and i think he

Customer Question

hi Lucy,
I just received a letter from my ex and i think he is trying to extort me or blackmail me. can i send this letter to you and see what you think? I really need help.
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Lucy, Esq. replied 6 years ago.

Is there a way you can just type some of the passages you're wondering about? That way, you can edit out identifying information or other stuff that may be confidential.
Customer: replied 6 years ago.





The telephone calls and the emails made in the last two weeks with the intention of settling this legal battle did show effort on your part. The problem is you really don't have anything to negotiate with.


I saw the house/sale offer and the threat of appeal, but neither holds water. First, the house should already be on the market. Not negotiable.


Of course you can appeal to a higher court to further delay, waste time and money. Since you were not successful in your first appeal, and I am reasonably confident you won't be in the future. If your strategy is to further delay your obligations, the courts will not tolerate it. In fact we fully intend to get a favorable ruling tomorrow that you will be responsible for my attorney fees incurred and lost wages as a result of this continued nonsense. Your sanctions will only keep growing and there really is no need for that to happen.


You are in trouble Me. You need to see this - everyone else does. Tomorrow, you will be held in contempt of court and you will be arrested and locked up. Your first contempt of court count (cash) bond will be equal to the amount of money the court has mandated you owe me. ($7K). You will not be released until it is paid in full. I fear that the judge will also hold you in contempt for the other matter as well.


I am sure you think that your March payments will gain you favor in the courts. It is an effort, but not nearly enough. I am trying to get you to stop and not force the court to do the inevitable. I do not want this to happen. I have never wanted this to happen but you keep going and going. Your futile actions are causing this. This is not the result of anything I have done or am doing. STOP!


I propose we craft a final agreement and prevent this from going any further.


My Requirements - Must be accepted before the hearing @ 2:00 on Friday - 4/1/11


  • 1. I have permanent primary custody of our son, you will get unsupervised visitation every other weekend when and if our son obtains a C average at school. Until then, visitation remains the same (supervised at scan). In the event that you bad mouth me to the our son, calls DSS, file another bullshit DVO, or otherwise attempt to further interfere with my relationship with our son, you forfeit this offer and your parental rights will be terminated.


  • 2. You will immediately catch up child support; medical and child care expenses that you owe me, and continue to pay child support in accordance with the prior order of the court. This must be automated through the state of NC Child Support Centralized Collections


  • 3. You will immediately catch up the sanctions payments ordered, and continue to pay against my attorney's fees you have been ordered to satisfy.
  • 4. You will allow me to have my choice of furniture/possessions from the house


  • 5. The house itself is yours (including the debt). If you can refi/sell/make some money as alleged great as long as my name comes off the notes immediately. Otherwise you list the house by April 7, 2011 and move out by April 21, 2011.


  • 6. My retirement is mine, you have no claim. Your accounts are yours, except I want our sons savings account and every savings bond of the kids.


  • 7. You will apologize to me and to our son for what you have done, and make sure that our son understands that you fully approve of him having a good relationship with me. This must be done in writing, and Me you must recognize the fact that what you have done is atrocious and your actions have actually harmed Alex. Some bullshit apology will not suffice. Me, you must first admit, then own, and then explain how the acts have affected me and our son, and then you must express true remorse for those actions. Only then can there be the true closure that my brother seeks for all.......


A year ago I offered to drop the motion to vacate the child custody orders if you just agreed to vacate the DVO? You refused. I can only assume XXX pushed you to take the deal, but you refused to negotiate at all. If you would have taken it, everything would be different. You have played hard ball all along, and now you are in trouble.


Now it is time and you must agree to the conditions above.


This is what you will get in exchange:


  1. You do not go to jail tomorrow for intentionally not complying with Judge XXX order to pay child support and sanctions.


  1. You do not go to jail tomorrow for intentionally communicating with the Judge Ex-Parte by placing letters from you and your mother in the sealed envelope for the court.


  1. You will not end up paying all of my attorney's fees for having to fight against the frivolous appeal that you filed from the last order and were denied.


  1. You do not get sanctioned by the court of appeals for your inability to comply with their rules (you have already violated several);


  1. You get to live in the home you so desperately wanted at the inception of this case. (as long as we transfer ownership and financial responsibility to you and completely remove my name from the property)


  1. You will get to actually see your son in a conventional environment whereby you MAY be able to have a relationship as long as you behave.


I know you think you can change the judge's decisions, but it is not going to happen.


Please carefully consider this and agree to stop this nonsense.

Expert:  Lucy, Esq. replied 6 years ago.
The letter is harsh, but it doesn't fall within the category of blackmail or extortion. It sounds like he's trying to scare you.

Blackmail is when a person threatens to reveal something about a person in order to gain a benefit. The judge already has the facts in front of him, so there's nothing for him to learn. Extortion involves communicating threats in order to get something of value, but it's not a threat if someone says that he's going to pursue his legal options. If you hit my car, and I tell you that I'm going to sue if you don't pay me for the damage, that's not considered a threat, because I'm allowed by law to do it.

If he does already have a court order against you, and he reasonably believes that you're out of compliance with it, he can get a contempt order. This is common - the threat of contempt exists as a way of getting litigants to comply with the court's order. He also has a right to request attorneys' fees, although whether he would actually be entitled to them is based on all the facts, and I don't have all the facts. Everything else is just his final settlement offer, which you are free to accept or reject, although it sounds like you have to make a decision quickly.
Customer: replied 6 years ago.

can i tale this to court and use it against him.



Expert:  Lucy, Esq. replied 6 years ago.
You can bring it to court, but I'm not sure how effective it will be against him. If you're going in on a complaint that he filed for contempt, his statements that you will lose aren't really going to hurt him. If he didn't think he would win, it wouldn't make any sense to file.

If you think that it would somehow help your case to bring the letter to court with you, you can do so.
Customer: replied 6 years ago.

so that statement at top of the page has no validity?


Expert:  Lucy, Esq. replied 6 years ago.
I'm sorry. I must have missed that part. Statements made for the purpose of settlement are not admissible. Since it clearly states at the top that the statement is for settlement purposes only, it can't be introduced.
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
ok, thank you so very much on this quick asking for your help. I really hate these threats and it just brings back too many bad memories of what he has done to me and obviously wants to continue to do to me.
Customer: replied 6 years ago.

thank you so very much on this quick asking for your help. I really hate these threats and it just brings back too many bad memories of what he has done to me and obviously wants to continue to do to me.


I appreciate all of your help.

Expert:  Lucy, Esq. replied 6 years ago.
It really is an awful situation. I hope it will be over soon.
Lucy, Esq. and other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
thank you

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