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Lucy, Esq.
Lucy, Esq., Lawyer
Category: Family Law
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Experience:  Attorney with experience in family law.
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How do I go about filing an Alienation of Affection suit The

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How do I go about filing an Alienation of Affection suit? The mistress is in TX and I am in NC. My exhusband is still here in NC. Do I file it against the mistriss only or both her and my ex?

I have another question but it is of such a private matter I do not want it viewed. How can I pose that?

After a question is answered and accepted, we can ask that it be locked so no one else can view it. I'm not aware of any way to post a question that no one else can see prior to that, but I can ask one of the moderators to contact you.

Alienation of affection is a suit against the paramour, not the spouse. North Carolina is one of very, very few states that still allow these types of lawsuits, so you would sue there, not in Texas. North Carolina has jurisdiction over a non-resident who causes a tortious injury in the state, so you will be able to sue her, even if she doesn't live there.

The conduct has to have occurred before you separated, or during a time that you were attempting reconciliation. Basically, you want to show that this person came in and destroyed an otherwise happy marriage through malicious conduct.

You may also have a claim for criminal conversation, which is what North Carolina calls adultery. You need only show that, while you were married, someone else had intercourse with your husband.

Because these complaints are very fact-specific, the best thing to do is go to the law library and look at books that give you ideas of what you need to allege. This site has more information on these two torts:
Customer: replied 5 years ago.

Yes, this is all provable and happened well before I even knew there was a problem and we separated. For approx. 5 years. My ex even exposed me to several diseases during my 2 battles w cancer and treatment bc of his many affairs and long term relationship w this particular woman.


What paper work, motions, etc. do I file? Once the paperwork is filed here in NC, do I just then serve her w/ papers via sheriff?


I have proof and my children & his work assoc. as witnesses.



You have to draft and file a Complaint, along with the summons and cover sheet. I looked online, but I wasn't able to find samples that would work for the Complaint. That's why I suggested going to the law library. If you can't get to the library, look at the elements of each claim - they're in the article I posted. Then, set forth enough facts to allege each of the elements.

Since she is out of state, you can serve her by sending a copy via certified mail with a returned receipt. If she signs for it, that's proof of service. If she doesn't, then you'd probably end up hiring a sheriff to do it.

Once she's been served, you would file the proof of service with the court and wait for her to respond. At this point, there really aren't any motions you would need to prepare.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.

I have never done a complaint, summons or cover sheet before, and I have done a lot in my case, including an Appeal that is in progress and so far done so well opposing atty is complimenting me and asking who is helping me.


I will look online also for examples of a complaint.


What does a summons and cover letter entail?

I'm sorry - I thought you'd done the Summons and Cover sheet before. Both of those are available online. Here is the Summons:

This is the cover sheet.
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Customer: replied 5 years ago.

You rock!


And I think I can do the complaint now that I have found one online from another state case.



You're welcome.

I don't know if the Complaint you found says anything, but, since the defendant is out of state, you'll want to include something after the first couple of paragraphs stating why the court has jurisdiction over her - either because she traveled to NC to see your husband, if she did, or because she caused an injury in NC, which she definitely did, or both.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
would the injury that you refer to be? the dissolution of our marriage?
The injury is the loss of affection, as shown by the dissolution of the marriage. You can also ask for punitive damages, which are designed to punish the wrongful conduct.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.

I just started to fill out the Summons and Cover Sheet. No problem on coversheet


Summons - type of pleading and also claim for relief, do I check other and put in alienation of affection for pleading? what for the claim?

The type of Pleading is Complaint - they just want to know what you're filing with the cover sheet. The claim for relief would be other: Alienation of Affection and Criminal Conversation.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.

I understand that I can name other Defendants also, i.e. people who assisted or knew this was going on etc. I know for sure 2 other people. The form allows for the primary defendant (paramour) and 1 other defendant to be named. How do I include the 3rd?


Also, to confirm, I would then send all 3 of the defendants the summons, coversheet and complaint once it's filed, correct?


Would all 3 have to reply to the complaint or only the primary defendant, or defendant #1.



My understanding of an alienation of affection claim is that it would only be against the person who actually committed the tort. If someone else merely knew about it, they wouldn't be legally responsible.

Each defendant gets his own summons. They all three have to file a reply.

You should be able to just squeeze in all three names on the coversheet. If not, because the Complaint has all three names, it shouldn't make a difference. However, you may want to check with the clerk of the court to make sure it's OK.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.


this is the complaint sample that I have been looking at, bc it is so closely related to my senario. I plan to use a lot of the wording on here, but they mention John Doe and Jane Doe as defendants. That is why I asked.



For some reason, that link didn't load for me. However, it's fairly common to add "Jane Doe" to a complaint where someone wants to reserve the right to add defendants later. In some places, it's common practice to basically name John or Jane Doe in every case. That's to protect the party in case he finds out about other defendant's after the statute of limitations has run.
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Customer: replied 5 years ago.


follow up on the summons-

do I check off this box under the summons?



and does this go to the district court or superior court?

The Summons is served on the defendant with a copy of the Complaint. It isn't filed with the court. For the other documents, it depends on how much you're asking for. If it's $10,000 or less, it goes to the District Court. Otherwise, it goes to Superior Court.

An alias and pluries summons is issued if you aren't able to serve the defendant with a regular summons within the time allowed. Since you haven't filed the case yet, it wouldn't be an alias and pluries summons.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.

I'm somewhat now confused. I usually file everything with the court getting a time stamp on it once it has been registered and then send it to the party.


What exactly do I file with the court and in what order or can I file everything at one time?

The Complaint

The Summons

The Coversheet


Then I send copies of it all to the Defendant, certified mail, correct?


How and when do I get a case # ?


Thanks Lucy and good morning!



Good morning.

Filing a case for the first time is a little different than filing other papers. First, you should call the clerk's office to confirm the filing fee (the ones posted online aren't always right), and to find out what forms of payment they accept - some clerks will take personal checks, some take credit cards, but it varies.

Second, you should take at least two copies of the documents. That way, the clerk can stamp your copies and give them back, and you'll have the case number XXXXX them. You can then make additional copies with the case number XXXXX on them. Take the Summons with you. The clerk can also stamp the case number XXXXX that. But, the Summons itself is not filed. After the Complaint, Coversheet, and Summons are served on the defendant, you'll file a proof of service with the court.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.

Excellent. The case # XXXXX XXXXX at the time of filing of the complaint and summons.


Ready to go then!


Your an angel. Thanks!

You're welcome. Good luck.
Lucy, Esq. and 3 other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you