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Dimitry K., Esq.
Dimitry K., Esq., Attorney
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 37928
Experience:  I provide family and divorce law advice to my clients in my firm.
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I AM IN OKLAHOMA.I MADE MY ALCHOLIC,ABUSIVE,NEGLECTIVE,CRUEL

Customer Question

I AM IN OKLAHOMA.I MADE MY ALCHOLIC,ABUSIVE,NEGLECTIVE,CRUEL HUSBAND LEAVE IN MAY 0F 99.WE AGREED ON 6500 A MONTH IN ALIMONY AND WHEN I NEEDED SOMETHING FOR CHASE HE WOULD GIVE THE MONEY FOR THAT.HE WAS SUPPOSED TO QUICK DEED THE HOME TO ME AND GIVE ME THE CAR CAR PAYMENT BOOK.INSTEAD HE HAS GIVEN ME 300 A MONTH AND HAS NEVER GIVEN ME MONEY FOR HIS CLOTHES, OR ANY HOMESCHOOKING MATERIELS I USE. WE HAD TO SELL HIS HORSES AND TRAILER AND GOATS AND COULDNT EVEN AFFORD THE LITTLE THINGS WE US4ED TO DO. HIS LIFESTYLE HAS STAYED THE SAME AND HE EVEN BOUGHT A NEW CAR AND STILL PLAYS GOLF AND TOLD ME HE WAS DOING WELL.wE NOW SHOP AT SECOND HAND STORES AND HAVE GONE TO CHURCHES AND OTHER PLACES FOR ASSISTANCE.I HAVE LUPAS,FIBROMYALGIA,TIAS,RA....NEEDLESS TO SAY MY MEDICATION AND MEDICAL BILLS TAKE A CHUNK OF THE 3000 AND AFTER I PAY THE BILLS AND FOOD,WHICH HAS CHANGED TOO WE STRUGGLE.WEVE HAD TO BORROW MONEY THE LAST WEEK OF THE MONTH JUST TO MAKE IT.IF IT WERE NOT FOR A MAN IVE DATED FOR ALMOST 2 YEARS CHASE WOULD HAVE NOTHING.HE IS DISABLED AND CANT WORK REGURARLY BUT WHEN THINGS GET BAD HE TAKES A JOB TILL HIS KNEES WONT LET HIM WORK AND HE HAS HELPED WITH CHASE.HE HAS HIS OWN HOME AND AN ELDERLY MOTHER BUT HE HAS HELPED US ON THE 20 ACRE RANCH AND AFTER WE HAD A FLOOD HE TOOK HIS OWN TAX MONEY TO HELP W OUR HOME BUT HE CANT HELP ANYMORE AND I FEEL GUILTY HE HAS DONE WHAT MIKE SHOULD HAVE.HE FILED THE DIVORCE PEPERS AND GAVE ME SOLE CUSTODY AS HE HAS A FELONY CHILD ABUSE CONVICTION HE GOT ON CHASE.HE DID DIDNT CALL HIM FOR A YEAR THEN CALLED DEMANDING TO SEE HIM,WHICH HE DOES EVERY NOW ANDSTHEN WHEN HE GETS MAD ABOUT MONEY. HE HAS NOT MOVED ON THE DIVORCE AND WONT TALK TO ME ABOUT RESOLVING IT EXCEPT TO SAY IF YOU WANT IT YOU GO FILE..BUT HES ALREADY FILED AND IVE NOT BEEN TO COURT.WHAT ADVICE DO YOU HAVE FOR ME.
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Dimitry K., Esq. replied 3 years ago.
Thank you for your question.

First of all, please permit me to inform you that I cannot provide you with "legal advice", as I am not your attorney. All I can do is provide you with legal information that you can use for yourself when you make your decisions for yourself. Thank you for understanding.

Having said that....

When did he file? Also, who exactly is "Chase"--I see that name being mentioned but I am unclear as to what person may be. If Chase is the child, how old is he at this time? Was the support payment that you both agreed upon in writing?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
CHASE IS OUR 14 YEAR OLD SON.WE PUT NOTHING IN WRITING.HES PAID THE 3000 AND KEPT THE OTHER MONEY W EVERY EXCUSE AND NOW JUST IGNORES IT.BUT I HAVE A TEXT FROM THE OTHER DAY WHEE I MENTION IT AND HE DOESNT SAY WHAT R U TALKING ABOUT BECAUSE HE KNOWS ITS THE DEAL WE MADE AND I HAVE 2 WITNESSES THAT HEARD THE AGREEMENT.I THINK HE FILED ABOUT JAN OF LAST YEAR
Expert:  Dimitry K., Esq. replied 3 years ago.
Thank you for your follow-up.

Has your child ever lived with him, or has your child always been with you ever since he moved out? In terms of his text, what if anything does he say? Were you ever served by anyone when he filed?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
OH NO, CHASE WOULD NEVER STAY WITH HIM. THE FILING WAS SERVED TO A GUY WORKING IN MY HOME AND MY SON HANDED IT TO ME.MIKE HAD CALLED ME TO PICK UP THE QUICK DEED BUT WHEN I GOT THERE HE SAID HE HAD TO RUN TO THE COURT HOUSE AND I CAME HOME TO THE PAPERS,BASICALLY I TOLD HIM AFTER HE SAID HE PAYED MY PHONE BILL I SAID NI I PAY MINE AND YOURS AND THE HOUSE AND THE CAR....THEN HE GAVE ME THE PASSWORD XXXXX CHANGED.AFTER HE ASKED ME TO CALL HIM.HE DIDNT DISAGREE AT ALL.HE SAID NOTHING EXCEPT TO CHANGE THE SUBJECT TO ID LIKE TO C MY SON WHICH IS WHAT HE DOES WHEN I BACK HIM IN THAT CORNER
Expert:  Dimitry K., Esq. replied 3 years ago.
Thank you for your follow-up.

Final set of questions (I hope)

1. Beyond you being served last year, has anything been done? Was there a hearing in front of the judge or any petitions beyond that point?

2. What exactly do you wish to accomplish in this situation?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
NO HEARING. IVE TRIED TO GET HIM TO SIT DOWN AN DO THIS OURSELVES SO IT DOESNT TURN INTO AN UGLY COURT THING BUT HE AVOIDS THAT AND IVE HEARD HES AVOIDING GOING TO COURT. I WANT ALL MY ALIMONY SO WE STOP SUFFERING AND I CAN GIVE MY SON SOME SEMBLENCE OF THE LIFESTYLE HAD.HE HASNT PAID CHILD SUPPORT AND WHEN I ASK OR CHASE ASKS FOR SOMETHING HE IGNORES HIM. HE HAS ME HALF AFRAID TO FIGHT HIM FOR WHAT WE SHOULD GET.THIS IS A VERY POWERFUL ATTORNEY
Expert:  Dimitry K., Esq. replied 3 years ago.
Thank you for your follow-up.

First of all, DO NOT be afraid. Even if you are still lawfully married, because you are living apart, you can still choose (and frankly you have a right) to file for both child support, child custody rights, and also spousal support. Getting child support will be fairly straightforward since you can request back-support as well especially since he has not assisted you in the past (enforcement of past due child support in Oklahoma is not subject to a Statute of Limitations). Requesting spousal support will be tougher since there is nothing in writing, and oral agreements only have a 3 year statute of limitations on enforcement. That does not mean that you cannot attempt to pursue formal support from him, but I really do not see you prevail and receive the original amount.

As for filing for actual divorce, if he fails to move on it, you CAN file on your own, and then you CAN file for "alimony pendente lite", which is a fancy way of stating that you would file for spousal support granted to you while you are still married but in the midst of a divorce. To get the forms needed to file for divorce, or simply file for child custody and child support, contact your local courthouse and talk to the clerk. Explain the situation, and the clerk should be able to provide you copies of the forms you would need to file.

Good luck.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
EVEN IF HE HAS CONSISTENTLY PAID THE 3000 AND PAID THE HOUSE CAR AND INSURANCE AND I AM VERY ILL AND CANT WORK, YOU THINK I CANT GET THE ALIMONY AND IT HAS NOT BEEN THREE YEARS. WITHOUT THAT AMOUNT I CANT GET MEDS MY LIFE DEPENDS ON OR PAY BILLS.EVEN WITH THE RECENT TEXT AND WITNESSES YOU REALLY THINK ILL GET LESS.
Expert:  Dimitry K., Esq. replied 3 years ago.
I am a bit confused. You stated that he only paid $3,000 once. Or did you mean that he only paid $3,000 rather than the $6,500 he promised?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
RIGHT.EVERY MONTH FOR ALMOST 2 YEARS HES PAID ME THE 3000 DIRECTLY BUT HAS KEPT PAYING THE BILLS AND HAS BENEFITTED BY NOT GIVING ME THE FULL AMOUNT AFTER HE PAYS THE HOUSE INSURANCE AND CAR HE ALSO IS PAYING HIS 500 BUS PHONE OUT OF MY ALLIMONY AND IS POCKETING AN EXTRA 500 TO 800 OF MY ALIMONY
Expert:  Dimitry K., Esq. replied 3 years ago.
Oh I see.

Then in that case I can see the current alimony remain in place (the $3,000) but the $6,500 you feel he promised you, if it was not in writing, I do not see you receive those benefits from him pertaining to the remaining funds.

Good luck.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
IM SORRY BUT ISNT A TEXT WHERE I COMPLAIN TO HIM ABOUT KEEPING CONTROL OVER THE OTHER HALF OF THE ALIMONY AND HIS RESPONSE IS IM JUST TRYING TO GET SOME WORK DONE CALL ME LATER NOT ENOUGH EVEN WITH WITNESSES
Expert:  Dimitry K., Esq. replied 3 years ago.

I am sorry but that is not enough. His lack of answer is not an admission or an "assumption" of the debt as valid. Plus, since it was an oral agreement made 12 years ago in 1999, it is simply not enforceable under Oklahoma law which, as I stated, only has a 3 year statute for such agreements. Believe me that I would prefer to give you news you wish to hear, but I cannot as that would be unethical and irresponsible on my part, not to mention unprofessional.

 

Good luck.

Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Relist: Answer quality.
I DONT THINK HE TOOK MY ENTIRE SITUATION IN CONSIDERATION AND THERE ARE CASES ON MAINTINING LIFESTYLE HE DIDNT EVEN BRING UP OR THAT A FAULT DIVORCE HAS SOME PRECEDENCE WITH PERMANENT ALIMONY IN OKLAHOMA.I NEED SOME PEOPLE TO HELP US REALLY UNDERSTAND ALL OUR OPTIONS
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
IM SORRY BUT IVE READ A LOT OF CASES AND MAYBE YOUR RUSHED OR DONT UNDERSTAND HOW BAD THIS SITUATION IS.INEEDED TO KNOW HOW TO FIGHT..NOTHING PERSONAL
Expert:  Dimitry K., Esq. replied 3 years ago.
Ma'am,

I did take your entire situation into consideration. That is why I provided you an answer that while you may not be happy with, is most likely how the judge will see it. Besides, the information I provided to you would be an ideal win for you and your case--as you stated that your spouse has a shark of an attorney, the attorney may well legitimately claim that he owes you no alimony since nothing is in writing, or request a lowering of support, or may request formal visitation and custody of your child. I do not see you prevail on seeking large alimony if there is now a 12 year history of you receiving $3,000 a month from him for your support, even with your illness.

Additionally, a "fault" divorce DOES NOT modify the split in assets. And, if you are going at it without an attorney (something that is highly inadvisable), the other attorney can force you to agree to a much lower support payment than what you wish to settle on. The judge will usually not help you as his job is not to take sides but to ensure court rules are being followed.

That is why I provided you with an answer that you need to hear, and not one that you hoped to hear. I do not want you getting disappointed in the future.

Good luck and please accept my answer to you for the information that I provided to you. Thank you.

Sincerely,

Dimitry Alexander Kaplun, Esq.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
2 YEARS OF 3000 AND MY HOUSE MY CAR MY PHONE MY INSURANCE.AND A FELONY CHILD ABUSER THAT BEAT CHASE AND WHO HE IS AFRAID OF I DOUGHT WILL GWT VISITATION BY THE TIME CHASE GETS TO SPEAK ESPECIALLY SINCE IVE TOLD HIM IVE NEVER TOLD HIM HE COULDNT SEE HIM BUT CHASE JUST RECENTLY REFUSED TO GO WITH HIM THE 3RD TIME HE TRIED TO EVEN SEE HIM IN A YEAR. I JUST DONT SEE HOW A MAN THAT IS NOT SUFFERING FINACIALLY AT ALL AND HAS THE HISTORY HE HAS WOULD NOT HAVE OUR LOSS OF LIFESTYLE TO THE POINT OF POVERTY
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
YOU THOUGHT IT WAS 12 YEARS....YOU SAID STATUTE OF LIMITATIONS IS 3 YEARS ON ORAL.IT HASNT BEEN 3 YEARS

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