Yeah. There is no way to get around the penalty if you place his name on the home now. I am sorry he is feeling so insecure with this arrangement.
Also, as it stands, should he divorce you before the 3 years he would not be automatically entitled to any share of the property because it is considered "non marital" because it was purchased before the marriage. However, you could draft a post nuptial agreement wherein you guarantee that should the marriage dissolve before the home is transferred to him, you will give him any monies that he himself has put into the maintenance of the home - such as paying the mortgage or utility bills or other up keep.
Unfortunately, he will just need to be patient. The offer your Father is making to pay his school loans is very generous and he should seriously consider that.
I would never suggest such a post nup be signed. I would not provide information on that. I believe you need to present that to a local attorney and have them review it.
As to duress, sure you could argue you were forced because he threatened to divorce
DISCLAIMER: Answers from Experts on JustAnswer are not substitutes for the advice of an attorney. JustAnswer is a public forum and questions and responses are not private or confidential or protected by the attorney-client privilege. The Expert above is not your attorney, and the response above is not legal advice. You should not read this response to propose specific action or address specific circumstances, but only to give you a sense of general principles of law that might affect the situation you describe. Application of these general principles to particular circumstances must be done by a lawyer who has spoken with you in confidence, learned all relevant information, and explored various options. Before acting on these general principles, you should hire a lawyer licensed to practice law in the jurisdiction to which your question pertains.
The responses above are from individual Experts, not JustAnswer. The site and services are provided “as is”. To view the verified credential of an Expert, click on the “Verified” symbol in the Expert’s profile. This site is not for emergency questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals. Please carefully read the Terms of Service (last updated February 8, 2012).