Thank you. First of all, without court orders, the IRS goes for dependent status based on who has had the child most of the year, so that would be you. Once court orders are established, it's usually odd/even years (i.e. one year for you, one for him).
To get access, you have to file a divorce or legal separation
, and get an ex-parte order allowing you access to all community property
funds and accounts. If there simply is NO money, try using a free or reduced attorney first. I am including a list of pro bono programs in NY:
Also, try a law school's 'family law
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Edited by Eli on 2/1/2011 at 4:33 PM EST