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AttorneyTom, Lawyer
Category: Family Law
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My husband and I have been married for 13 years and for the

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My husband and I have been married for 13 years and for the last 9 monhs have been separated. My husband has is a self-employed plumber. I have been an exec admin assistant for the last 15 years. My job is steady and I provide the health insurance for our family. We have 2 children (ages 9 & 6). A lot of things have been leading up to this moment in our lives. However, the main reason that I chose to leave with the kids was due to his constant need for sex. I work from sun up to sun down every day. My work does not stop when I get home. I used to ask for help from my husband, but never got it. I eventually gave up. I don't mind hard work, but at 11:00 or 12:00 when I finally laid my head down to rest, he would start in on me about sex. If I didn't do it, he would keep me up for another hour to hour and 1/2. Sometimes I would just do it to get him to leave me alone. I was physically and emotionally drained. I couldn't keep up anymore. My question is this, can this be considered abuse? I lived like this for over 2 years. It sickened me and he has begged me to come home, but I feel traumatized from this. When I left, he started talking about killing himself and acted like he was going to do it one night. He took an excessive amount of pain killers for his so-called back pain - enough that I had to contact poison control. I was taking an anti-depressant to cope and he started doling out my medicine trying to help me get off of it. I have been on an emotional roller coaster and am scared about what to do next. Unsure of where to go from here. I went to counseling for about 4 months and the counselor told me that there wasn't much she could do for me, as I was past the point of anger.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  AttorneyTom replied 5 years ago.

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One spouse may not actually force another spouse to engage in sexual activity. However, the fact that a spouse regularly wants sex and requests it is not typically abuse. Extreme coercion could potentially constitute a crime in some circumstances, particularly if some threat of harm is made or if the conduct is intended to annoy, distress, or alarm the other party. However, asking or even begging for sex on a daily basis is not, by itself, a crime.

Of course, in certain circumstances, continuously harassing a spouse about sex could constitute emotional abuse that a court might factor into determinations during a divorce, such as determinations pertaining to child custody or other relevant matters during a divorce.

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