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Law Girl
Law Girl, Family Law Attorney
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 4606
Experience:  I have a law practice that is largely dedicated to family law matters.
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My husband keeps threatening to divorce me. Hes seen an attorney

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My husband keeps threatening to divorce me. He's seen an attorney on and off for about a year. I'm pretty sure that he is having some kind of relationship with another women at his place of work. That is why we are having so much trouble - I can see the change in his behavior and I smell perfume on him. I do smell his clothes, I have a GPS trackstick in his vehicle and I'm getting ready to put a telephone recorder on our home phone. He denys it but I know that is what is going on. Yesterday, his work had a xmas lunch - he told me he would call me after the lunch was finished. He never did. I called his work a couple of times, no-one knew where he was. The secretary/timekeeper was not aware of where he was. He gets off work at 2:30p.m. - he called me at 2:40p.m. and said that he just got back from playing poker at Lumiere casino with another co-worker. Apparently, he left from the restaurant and went with this co-worker to the casino and then the co-worker dropped him off. THe timekeeper/secretary did tell me that this co-worker was on leave the whole afternoon. My husband did not mention anything to me about going to the casino after lunch beforehand. These are the reasons why I don't trust him. Whatever he is doing with this women that he is having some kind of relationship with, he is doing at work and at the gym after work. I do smell his clothes everyday. Since Missouri is an no-fault state, does it matter about what the spouse is doing behind one's back. He keeps telling me that his lawyer had written down that I smell his clothes and that I hide the phones at home. What difference does this make in a divorce?
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Law Girl replied 3 years ago.

Law Girl :

Thank you for your question. Although I am an attorney, I cannot represent you. However, I will give you the most thorough information I am able. Since Missouri is a no fault state, the court is not likely to find it probative (informative) that your husband may be cheating and/or that you smell his clothes everyday. It is likely that the court will disregard this information unless this information is helpful to determining other issues regarding the division of property and/or child custody and/or visitation issues (which is not likely).

Customer :

Behavior like smelling clothes and going by the gym when you know he is inside - will this make a difference in the division of property? He did hit me in the mouth last month but I did not call the police. What can I do?

Law Girl :

No, this is not likely to effect property division. If he hit you in the mouth, then you need to assess whether you are afraid for your physical safety. If the situation is not safe, then it may be a good idea to leave. If he is consistently violent, then a restraining order may be appropriate (if you are in fear for your safety). If this is an isolated incident, then it may be a good idea to get the divorce and/or counseling. You may want to sit down with a local attorney who can specifically advise you on the likely outcome of issues relevant to your divorce and how to move forward.

Customer :

He told me that I'm lucky that I have a place to stay - and that I'm lucky that he's not throwing me out. Can he do that?

Law Girl :

No. He cannot just decide to throw you out of your place of residence.

Customer :

How can I get him out of the house?

Law Girl :

In the divorce proceeding one of you can ask the court for an order requiring him to leave.

Customer :

I did hear about something called an Adult Abuse Claim where you could actually get someone removed from the house and that the judge almost always awards it based solely on your verbal claim.

Law Girl :

Otherwise you may consider talking to a local attorney about whether there are facts that justify a court potentially removing him from the home sooner. You would need to talk to an attorney about whether the facts justify an Adult Abuse Claim. Courts take these allegations VERY seriously and require a fair amount of evidence that there is abuse. The fact that he hit you once about a month ago may or may not meet this standard, it may depend on the circumstances, which is why meeting with a local attorney may behoove you.

Customer :

he said he was going to call his attorney today and file for divorce. When we are fighting, he always threatens me with this.

Law Girl :

That is not necessarily abuse. However, there is nothing preventing you from seeking a free consult from a local attorney to see whether you can file first or to protect yourself in the likely event of divorce.

Law Girl, Family Law Attorney
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 4606
Experience: I have a law practice that is largely dedicated to family law matters.
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