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Dimitry K., Esq.
Dimitry K., Esq., Attorney
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 36753
Experience:  I provide family and divorce law advice to my clients in my firm.
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I am single and have been having an affair with a married woman

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I am single and have been having an affair with a married woman for eight years. She has always been giving me, I just need a little more time, to leave my husband. See designed and I paid for a $40,000 diamond ring, in June 2010. This was done with the understanding that with the purchase, we were a done deal.
After pressing her to follow through, she has declined and dropped all plans with me. I ask her to help me out on the ring, since she designed the whole thing, she has declined.
Everyone in my family knows about us, and has been waiting for us to be married. In her family, I am a secret. I told her that if she didn't help me financially on the ring, I would tell her parents and kids, what mine already know.
I received a letter from an attorney today, telling me to not have any further involvement in her life, or she will sue me more emotional distress. I have paid such a price, and it appears to me that she gets off without consequences.
If I tell the truth to her family and friends, can I be successfully sued?
I have looked up the definition of IIED
1.defendant acted intentionally
2.defendants conduct must be extreme and outrageous
3.Cause of severe emotional distress

I would do this intentionally to make her accountable
Would traveling to another state to inform her parents and children in person be extreme in a legal sense
This would cause her emotional distress
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Dimitry K., Esq. replied 3 years ago.
Thank you for your question.

I am truly sorry that you are in this situation, and I will do my best to help.

If I tell the truth to her family and friends, can I be successfully sued? I have looked up the definition of IIED 1.defendant acted intentionally 2.defendants conduct must be extreme and outrageous 3.Cause of severe emotional distress
Legally not only would you be possibly liable for intentional distress, but you can also be sued for 'invasion of privacy" on possible grounds of "false light", "public disclosure of private facts", as you would provide what is essentially confidential information to her husband and her family. As such I would suggest that you stay away.

At the same time, if you, based on her promise, suffered financial losses, you are still free to file suit against her in court for breach of contract and attempt to collect via the courts. Filing suit against someone, especially for valid grounds, is NOT Intentional Infliction of Emotional Distress, and since your complaint against her would be public knowledge, by filing you can still inform her family of the suit and the cause for it, without communicating the facts to anyone directly.

Good luck.

Edited by Dimitry Alexander Kaplun on 12/1/2010 at 5:40 AM EST
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Isn't the truth the best defense. Embarressing, yes, but factual.
What do you think my success would be trying to collect for breach of contract, since I was foolish enough to buy a 3 caret ring for a married woman?
If I did this, what grounds would I have to inform her family. They are not a party to the suit?
Expert:  Dimitry K., Esq. replied 3 years ago.
Thank you for your follow-up.

You are thinking of defamation--for defamation of character, truth IS the ultimate defense. Intentional infliction of emotional distress does not have that as a defense, as providing someone with the truth at the worst moment can be the most intentionally damaging injury.

I really cannot speculate on your possible success--all I can say is that if you have emails, texts, chats, or other information through which she agreed to compensate you for your costs, your ability to win against her will be fairly high. No, they are not a party to suit, but they may choose to review her lawsuit information, or ask an attorney to pull the file, or decide to go to the open hearing in front of the judge. That is how they may find out.

Good luck.

Edited by Dimitry Alexander Kaplun on 12/1/2010 at 6:02 AM EST
Dimitry K., Esq., Attorney
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 36753
Experience: I provide family and divorce law advice to my clients in my firm.
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